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DD Boot Camp: Revealed

Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Instructions FREE & Questions Answered.
Mr BB Spanker says thanks for over 80,000 views of this one Domestic Discipline DD Boot Camp REVEALED article. Thanks for choosing ADDS as your trusted DD info, news, research & resource Home Page!
Through the years, many of the people who know what A Domestic Discipline Society is all about, know we really like to investigate and discuss all aspects concerning the DD community then present the information in an free, open, nonjudgmental ADDS format. I continue to receive emails from the community about the concept of DD Boot Camp and where it originated. Who came up with the original concept and where and when did it start to become more popularized in the DD community? Should it be used? If used, should it be something applied in the beginning of a DD relationship? Is it better suited for couples who have a more knowledgeable understanding, like after the initial year they have both been working together on their DD lifestyle relationship?
UPDATED: Read All Updates & Comments below the article & do some research.

There was some buzz and discussion around 2005 about an article that later would be called Domestic Discipline DD Boot Camp. It died down quickly when most people realized that a lasting real life DD relationship dynamic couldn't be realized through a Boot Camp or Training period. Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle choice is too intricate and complex to simply talk about once or twice and then attempt to "jump start" in a few days of scheduled homework and a few different intensity spankings over and over and over again. Most people learning about Domestic Discipline might think first about how this method would effect the submissive TiH partner, when it's just as often the brand new HoH who recoils from this method. Understandably so, especially if someone is brand new to the ideas, concepts and practices of a DD relationship. People need time to gain knowledge and understand that a true DD relationship isn't just about accountability, "spanking" and discipline. There is so, so much more to this lifestyle choice!
"DD Boot Camp" simply became a catch phrase that died off a long time ago and then resurfaced about a year ago. Someone quickly threw together their own version so they could capitalize on new people beginning a DD dynamic and sell a booklet. A few new people bought it before realizing all that information is found free online, on blogs, discussion groups and elsewhere. Also the information could be found easily through asking anyone who has been around more then a couple of years.
Personally, I wouldn't recommend any boot camp method, especially in the beginning of a DD relationship. I believe in Patience & Practice before Paddle & Punishment. Beginning with Communication & Honesty before spanking and forced submission is highly recommended for consistency and sustaining a long term DD dynamic.  I do however believe that sometimes after a couple has been actually living their DD lifestyle (living, not learning) for at least year or more, there can be times when a DD Reset & Revitalization is needed. Or maybe a week-end "play" time based around a something like a boot camp might be fun.

Would it surprise you to know that the question of "where did it originate" was answered years ago, and the consensus is that the original terminologies were influenced by the BDSM community. The originator,"Jaqueline", was not part of the BDSM community but back then many of the terminologies used in DD writings, were influenced by that area of the lifestyle community. The original was written for an MSN Forum Group which is long gone.
And when you continue with this article and read the unedited re-post from the 2005 original, you'll be able to see the influence. Most people who have been around awhile already know that, and don't care. The 2007 re-post can be found on the Discipline & Love forum.
But, if this is new information and it shocks you? Relax a bit. :)

 Take a minute to get a drink of water or take a short walk before continuing. :)


*checking my watch*

OK.  Ready?

If I may try to explain a little. Please try and think of it this way... as long as it  does not negatively effect anyone else, what you do in the privacy of your own relationship with your partner is your business. No one wants to be judged for their personal and private feelings about the subject. Your DD relationship dynamic is inherently a part of your private life and personal, consensual "adult only" relationship. How many people post about getting or giving a spanking on their FaceBook page that includes your family, friends, neighbors and co-workers? 
What you decide to add to Your DD Foundation & 3Cs of DD (< ADDS post) or not add to it is consensually up to only the adults involved in your relationship. No one likes to be judged for how the decide to live their life. So why would someone judge someone else who lives a similar DD dynamic in their own personal and individualized way? 

What you are about to read was originally posted in 2005 and has been re-posted many times. Anyone who has really been around for more then a year or two will tell you that there have been many DD Friendly discussion groups, forums, yahoo style groups and social sites that have posted and discussed this information. Some very new people will only look on something like a "search" engine and call it research. We're proud to have done the real research that comes from experience, having actually been a part of those discussions for many years, and care for this community.
It's clear to see that the author didn't call it "DD Boot Camp" I researched this, but could find the definitive reason why it became known as "Boot Camp" but there wasn't any specific information. It can be guessed it became known as DD Boot Camp because the title just didn't seem to fit. Also, in my own opinion, it should not have the "DD" moniker attached to it either. 
A Beginner’s Guide to Leadership and Submission
By Jacqueline 2005

My husband is not my Master. 
 I am not required to address him by any “title”. He does not consider my opinions, ideas, suggestions or thoughts any less valuable than his own. I am not interested in having my day to day activities micro-managed by him. Nor do I wish to be instructed by him on what I can think, say or wear. Again, my husband is not my Master. My husband, however, does have full authority over me. I do, occasionally, address him as “Sir” as a show of my respect for that authority. My husband does have the final say when I express ideas, make suggestions or have opinions or thoughts on a subject that are in direct contrast to his own and a decision has to be made on that subject. I am desperate for his guidance, leadership and correction when my activities, behavior or attitude disrupts the harmony in our home, family or relationship. 
I have agreed that HE retains full authority in our home and relationship. I have also consented to his use of discipline (physical and otherwise) should I challenge that authority by word, action or deed. Further, I have consented to his use of discipline to make me accountable for behaviors or attitudes that could prove harmful to myself or others. In short, my husband can choose to discipline me for those reasons or as a tool to help me improve myself or my disposition. 

I trust his ability to use his authority intelligently, lovingly and with the best interests of me and our relationship foremost in his mind. Without that complete trust, this lifestyle would be impossible.

There are many who would question my choice and ridicule my consent to be disciplined.
I hardly blame them. It’s a difficult concept to wrap your mind around. 
 My husband and I are both intelligent, educated people. 
We both have and appreciate the other’s sense of humor.We are both capable of making informed decisions and/or choices as to what is in the best interest of ourselves, our home and our relationship. 
So why would an intelligent, educated and capable women choose to shift the balance of power away from her and to the man she married? Why not share the power and, especially in this century, maintain the equality hard fought by our sisters in past decades? 
My husband and I are also both capable of intelligently and safely operating an automobile. But only one of us can actually drive the car at any given time. We could share the driving duties fairly and equally and that would work out quite well until one of us didn’t feel like driving when it was their turn. Or when we both wanted to drive at the same time. Or, worse, when not only did we both want to drive but we had entirely different destinations in mind. 
So, as that intelligent, educated woman I asked myself, is that “power struggle” worth the negative effect it would have on the relationship? Would the arguments, heat of the moment ill-spoken words and bad feelings be conducive to the vows I made to love, honor and respect the man I chose to partner with for life? It seems like a simple choice to me. Am I as capable as he is to lead our home? Possibly. Probably. However, my respect and love for him dictates that I sit in the front seat on the passenger’s side. (If for no other reason than as a show of love and respect). My trust in him dictates the natural choice to hand him the power to maintain that decision from me. It’s in my best interest. It’s in his and, most certainly, in the best interest of our marriage. 

Theoretically it was simple to make the decision at the outset of the journey. My husband drives and I take my seat beside him. It isn’t something I’m always happy to do. The manner in which he “drives” isn’t always something I enjoy or agree with. I imagine he feels the same way at times. Still, defining and agreeing on who leads from the beginning negates the probability of arguments and hurt feelings. Ultimately, that “decision made” is all that is necessary to override temporary and situational discontent for either one of us. Bottom line, the ride is smoother.

My husband is not my Master. 
He is the Head of our Household and I willingly submit to his authority as such. 
Well….I try to anyway. As we journeyed into our Head of Household/Domestic Discipline lifestyle we quickly learned that “theory” and “practice” are two entirely separate things. Knowing DD was the best way to insure the harmony and growth of our marriage didn’t necessarily make it any easier for me (or him) to consistently maintain the roles we adopted. 

Submission to my husband’s authority and will did not come easily for me and a few months into our “new” lifestyle we discovered that there was a whole lot more to DD than my submitting to my husband’s authority and to his discretion when it came to employing discipline. Even when we both knew it was for the greater good.
My driving desire was to be a devoted wife in all ways. My desire was to please my husband, simplify his life, reduce his stress and safeguard his commitment to me. Unfortunately, if one can’t just choose to submit to one man in all ways one day and transform into that role overnight. It’s easy to agree to disagree when the final choice or decision is yours….not so much when it’s someone else’s. 

There were two hurdles we couldn’t find a successful way to navigate around: my inability to consistently, unquestionably, submit and my husband’s inability, or reluctance, to consistently exercise his authority.

For me, physical submission is relatively simple. It’s a basic choice of whether or not I will physically obey him. Whether ‘obeying” him means to “stop talking” when a discussion becomes heated or to bend over his knee for a spanking when he deems it necessary. But "physical obedience" and "submission" do not necessarily mean the same thing, especially when the physical obedience is accomplished by sheer force of will as opposed to compliance of heart and mind.
For my husband, constant and consistent exercise of his authority in all things came with its own difficulties. He is, by nature, a kind and patient man. He is much more likely to give me the benefit of the doubt than to lay down the “law”. He found himself reluctant to say ‘no’ to me, after all, his desires mirrored mine in that he wanted to please me, simplify my life, reduce my stress and safeguard my commitment to him. Choosing to make a decision I was opposed to or, when it came to it, taking me over his knee for a spanking he knew was necessary, was not an easy thing for him to do. His enforcement of  his authority, in essence, being the “Boss” came naturally but with a price. The “price” being the nagging doubts that he was, perhaps, acting inconsiderately or, at worst, too harshly. 
The doubts had to be removed for both of us. Submission for me would evolve if I had no reason to “doubt” not only his authority and his motivation but all doubt about whether or not I would consistently be held accountable to my role. His role as Head of the Household and the exercise of authority that goes along with that role would evolve if he consistently saw the positive results of such actions.

So we came up with a theory: 
I needed to get to the place where my physical submission was no longer self-enforced but came simply as a response or a reaction to my husband’s decisions. Mental and emotional submission would be the natural evolution from there. My husband’s ability to hand down those decisions consistently and with unquestionable finality would become second nature for him as he became accustomed to expecting obedience and witnessing submission. His ability to discipline me without “guilt” would then just become his natural response to my non-submissive behaviors as well as my natural expectation of accountability. 
Another great theory on paper but how do we get there? The answer turned out to be incredibly simple, especially for two intelligent educated people. 
We concluded, after many discussions, that it was obvious that the ability to lead effectively was, for the most part, a learned behavior. However “natural” that characteristic is in someone, only experience and practice hones it. Once we were in agreement in that, it was less than a “leap” to realize that submissive behavior followed the same principal. 
We had the theory now we needed the action plan. How do we “learn” our roles without suspending the DD lifestyle to do it?
Only my husband could define what “submission” meant to him. For if my submission didn’t meet his needs and expectations where was the value in it? So logic would dictate that I could only be “taught” to submit by him, the man I unconditionally respect, love and trust above all others. The very process of his “instruction” would provide him with the experience and “practice” that would instill in him the consistency necessary to effectively lead our home. 

Our “plan” was even more simplistic from there, perhaps too simple for some people so here’s the disclaimer:
This plan worked for us. I don’t advocate or encourage another’s use of it without careful, thoughtful and extensive discussion between the couple who chooses to try it.
There is most certainly so much more to the deeper aspects of emotional submission than I will write of here. The remainder of this essay is simply about how my husband and I grew into our respective roles through the daily and deliberate practice of those roles. 
So the plan could be viewed as extreme. I certainly consider it to be so. It had to be. For me, I had ideas about what true submission entailed but no real experience to draw from. I had to experience what it felt like to submit didn’t when I didn’t agree with it, didn’t like it or didn't want to. Then I had to figure out how to get my heart and mind in line with my body and sincerely submit under those circumstances. 
I insisted on and my husband concurred that taking our roles to their extremes was the most direct route to our goal: a positive, natural and productive DD marriage. 
The remainder of this essay could be entitled “Basic Training 101”. I’ve maintained throughout this essay that my husband is not my Master and that still holds true. However, as a result of putting our plan into action, an amazing thing happened: I discovered the sheer joy in obedience and the peace and harmony that comes from knowing that my husband is not only pleased with my behavior and attitudes but that he respects and appreciates me for them with a depth he had not before.
Further, my admiration for the way he now chooses to exercise and fulfill his role and the responsibilities that go along with it since I’ve seen how he could choose to do it, has grown along with my respect, love and complete trust in him.
Our mutual witness of each other’s roles personified in their extremes humbled both of us and drove home the fact that his leadership and my submission are truly gifts we can only give and receive from each other. It is what makes our marriage unique and our relationship rock solid. 

So, the “plan” was simple: My husband became my Master. 
I wonder how many people just went screaming from the room after reading that decidedly BDSM implication? There had to be a few because, in all honesty, for a lot of us who truly engage in the HOH/DD lifestyle, the very suggestion that there may be underlying BDSM tones in that lifestyle is unsettling at best, offensive at worst. I don’t advocate, mainly because I don’t even remotely have an understanding of, the choice to practice BDSM. My perception (emphasize ‘perception’) is that while the two choices (BDSM and DD) possess some similarities they are motivated and personified by entirely separate principles. I consider the BDSM relationship is sexual in nature and, if it is carried over into other areas of the relationship outside of sex, it is still “contrived role playing” as it is rare to find a “Slave” who was actually “purchased” and unable to leave the relationship. 

To me, the DD lifestyle is a more sincere adaptation of permanent and consistent roles inside and outside of the bedroom. Both parties have equal value and, while there may be latent or secondary sexual overtones, it is not the focus of the discipline. The use of discipline is a “tool” to correct or improve behavior. I don’t believe that an DD lifestyle can be engaged in “casually” as a committed and trusting relationship is paramount in the success of the lifestyle. That’s not to say that there are not couples in monogamous and committed BDSM relationships, it’s just to say that I believe that BDSM is “situational” while DD is an actual lifestyle choice.

So, for me, to consider my husband my “Master” was a huge leap. It dictated that I would have no say, could offer no opinions and my “consent” to his authority and use of discipline would be redundant because the very definition of the word “Master” meant for me that I had no choice but to submit to his authority and use of discipline.

Once again I am compelled to point out that these are my perceptions of BDSM vs. DD and are by no means the final words on the subject in general. I believe you need to know where my mindset lies in order to understand why our “plan” worked for us in establishing a solid DD lifestyle. It’s another reason why advocating our plan in general is not one of my goals in writing this essay.
So for those like-minded individuals interested in my sharing of this experience I am compelled to point out that first and foremost, my husband became my “Master” temporarily. We agreed at the start that our “plan” would begin as an “experiment” the duration of which was three weeks. (Statistics indicate that a “habit” takes 21 days to form and that’s what we were attempting to lay the foundation for: the habitual and consistent personification of our roles.) 

Secondly and more importantly the word “Master” was defined for our purposes as a “state of mind” for me. It was the word I chose to associate with my husband as opposed to HOH during this time in order to help me squelch the “anti-submission” baggage programmed into me over the past four decades. For me, giving my husband that title and abiding by it in the purest sense of the word, allowed me the “freedom” to learn to submit without guilt or distraction or a sense of “betrayal” to my “independent womanhood”.

In short: for this plan to work I had to be in a place in my own mind where I just plain submitted to my husband in all things no matter what. Choosing to think of him as “Master” gave me the ability to do that.
Responding to my “Master” instead of my husband gave me permission to abandon my will. I wanted to be able to “practice” submission without having to battle the inner demons in place because I was raised in the era of Women’s Rights where “submission” to a man in any form was considered stupidity at best and treason at worst. By firmly removing all the options in my own mind, (as a ‘slave’ to a ‘master’), there was no internal debate when a situation requiring submission arose. I simply didn’t have a choice. 

It was a three-week long, 24/7 commitment to submit to constant daily and deliberate situations. My goal was to “practice” submission. That would be impossible to do if I didn’t submit at every opportunity and it would have taken months had there not been deliberate opportunities put in place.

So, I fully relinquished my right to argue, oppose, contradict, refuse or question my husband in any manner in which he chose to exercise his authority. His orders were both big and small. They could be “silly” or humbling. There were varying degrees of severity. And I was able to relinquish those rights under those circumstances because I knew it was temporary with the option of becoming permanent. How could we know if this would work in firmly establishing our roles? This plan was almost like a “try-it-at-home-30-day-money-back-guarentee” offer. If we ended up hating our roles, what have we lost? We would at least know we did all we could to make the DD lifestyle a “fit” in our relationship and if it turned out that it wasn’t, we could move forward to the next thing.

We both needed to see and know he could lead and that I could follow. My husband loves, respects and admires me. He would never do anything to harm me in any way. Because of that he never once “abused” the power he had over me for the duration. He took to extremes and there were times when I thought submission would be, if not impossible, at least, unlikely. But because of the clear “rules” in place (which I will touch on later in this essay) when we began “Basic Training”, he never wavered and I ultimately learned to submit, to his satisfaction, in all things without having the choice to submit. In the end, I learned that my submission was not only a choice but a gift when the “choice’ was restored.

In the same vein, my husband tasted his power. In becoming accustomed to using it deliberately and (oft-times unnecessarily) he learned to use it intelligently and effectively and to exercise his authority with the primary purpose being for the greater good of our relationship.

Through that “deliberate practice” of our roles we learned the key to the DD lifestyle for us:
I learned to trust that my husband could and would lead whether I liked it all the time or not. 
My husband learned to trust his instincts and came to understand that Adult Consensual Discipline is truly consensual. That even on the occasion when he is “wrong”, my respect for and desire to submit will not waiver as long as his willingness and consistency in exercising his authority doesn’t either. 

We walked away from our three week experiment with an entirely new perspective and a deeper appreciation for each other and the incredible things our respective roles bring to our relationship.
In the days following the end of “training” I realized I thrived on pleasing my husband and he, in turn, began to serve me. He served me by nurturing in himself his own desire to earn my gift of submission through displays of unconditional love for me. He did this by providing me with that which was necessary but also those things that would simply make me happy. We both became more affectionate and attentive to each other.
His ‘power’ (and my willingness to submit to it no matter what) humbled him. Which only strengthened my admiration and trust in him. Our marriage blossomed into one of true devotion to each other. The kind other people envy.
 If he asked me to, I would become, again, his slave in a heartbeat. 

The “footnote” to this essay is the details. It’s a list of examples of the different types of “orders” my husband gave me for the sole and single purpose of teaching me to submit to him. Admittedly, the majority of the commands were issued for no other reason than to give me the opportunity to practice physical submission but it was an amazingly useful tool for me (and him as he became comfortable in his authoritarian role). I learned to habitually submit to his “orders”. Some of the disciplines he commanded were difficult and humbling but his sheer contentment with me when I obeyed far overshadowed any negativity the discipline could have produced. It wasn’t “easy” by any stretch and I don’t necessarily recommend the use of all (or any) of our methods. It’s simply the details, do with it what you will.

The initial "set-up" and mindsets necessary for a "training period":

A. The most important thing for the HOH to do is not only to "exert his authority" daily but several times "randomly" throughout the day and night.
One specific point: from the start of the "training period" and consistently throughout it, the HOH can and should issue some orders directly and some of them "casually", (like casually during a meal, or while watching television ). Even calling or emailing her from work to have her "submit" to something. 

B. He must always use a specific tone of voice and/or address her in a way that cues her in that he is issuing an order. (like using her full name instead of her nickname).
FYI: The same tone and manner in which he addresses her (when exerting his authority as HOH) should be carried over into daily life once the training period is over. Recognizing that tone is the easiest habit to learn first and makes the transition into "real life" much smoother.

C. The HOH should additionally issue an "order" at least once in the middle of the night and do this at least 3 times a week (but every night for the duration of the training period is better). Again, this acts as a reminder for the wife of who is in control at all times.
The HOH can also require she sets an alarm to get up at 4:00 or 5:00am to perform some discipline. (i.e. corner or kneeling time, writing lines, doing a chore/task). 

D. The HOH should have the mindset that he is issuing orders "because he can" instead of "because she deserves it". Reminding himself that he is teaching her (with her consent) helps remove any "guilt" the HOH may have for issuing random and/or "underserved" disciplines.
Following are some suggestions on orders the HOH can issue to teach and/or help his wife practice her submission to him: (fyi: the objective of some of these orders is to humble her): 

1.) To start the "training period", the wife should be spanked first thing in the morning or prior to the HOH leaving the house to go to work every morning for the duration of the training period. This can serve as a “Daily Maintenance Spanking” for the duration.
The spanking can be a few swats with his belt as he dresses or as severe as the HOH feels like or has the time and/or desire to administer. Establishing this routine for "training" is especially effective in teaching her that, from the moment she wakes up, the HOH is in control. Whether it's a few swats or not, the swats must be painful and serve as a reminder for her throughout the day. 

2.) Corner time and/or Kneeling time. (These are always very specific as to the position she should be in, what she is wearing, how long etc.) Using nipple clamps, restraining or positioning her hands/legs, using rice to kneel on or applying a heating lotion can be added to make it more physically uncomfortable and "a harder lesson" to submit to.
The HOH can/should also randomly throughout the weeks "double or triple" this time by ordering her to return for another period of kneeling or back to the corner immediately after she "reports" to him that she has completed her "time". He can/should do this as many times as he wants as his continually forcing her to repeat that discipline for up to several hours is, after all, one of the purposes of this period of time: “practice”.

3.) Placing her into "discipline" position. I.e.: ordering her to lie (exposed) over his knee or to bend over the bed, dresser, table, chair etc. and remain in that position until he releases her.
 Giving her an actual spanking isn't necessarily required because she's supposed to be "practicing" getting into and staying in position when he tells her to. 
She should NOT be told the length of time she is to remain in this position but told to remain there until he releases her.

4.) Enforced Nudity.
The HOH randomly and often orders his wife to remove some or all of her clothes. This puts her in a "vulnerable state of mind". He can do this either in the course of routine daily life (like while watching tv or having a meal during which he orders his wife to expose herself to him by unbuttoning or take off her shirt or to remove all of her clothes and just remain that way while they go about whatever they were doing until he tells her to re-dress) or as a specific command for her to present herself before him naked, forcing her to stand before him silently until he tells her to re-dress. 
If they are alone in the house, he can order her stand or kneel in the middle of the room while HE goes about whatever he was doing. Or, if there are other people being in the house, he requires her to be naked under a robe and then has the option of ordering her to hold the robe open while she stands or kneels before him with her back to the entrance of the room so that the robe can be immediately closed should anyone approach. 
The HOH can choose to lecture her (about his authority, her required submission, negative behaviors etc) during this time or choose to be silent or to ignore her. The point is her nakedness and the vulnerability it produces in her. 

5.) Spankings. (Much like maintenance but solely for the "reason" of because he feels like it and these spankings are NOT in place of “morning maintenance”).

6.) Instructing her to ask for a spanking and requiring her to choose the implement. (Obviously an implement or "type" of spanking that they both know she especially dislikes is the goal here).

7.) Requiring her to address him as "Sir" either at all times for the duration of a discipline.

8.) Requiring her to thank him for any and all discipline whether it was spanking or non-spanking discipline and regardless of whether it was punishment or practice.

 (#7 and #8 must be clearing established by the HOH at the beginning of the training period if he chooses to employ it for the duration of the training) 

9.) Writing lines. They should be specific to a behavior the HOH wants changed/improved. A variation would be to copy (by hand) articles specific to HOH, LDD, submission, etc. or Bible verses, chapters.

10.) Requiring her to ask for permission before she does absolutely anything, i.e.:
a) tv/computer time or any type of leisure activity
b) when she can to go to bed, shower, eat, smoke, leave the room etc.
(Again, If this is going to be incorporated, the HOH needs to tell her that at the start of the "training period" AND if she does anything (during the duration of the training period) without first getting his express permission to do it, she is punished as severely as if she broke a major rule.) 

11.) Ordering back rubs, food prepared and served, his bath run, his clothes laid out etc.

12.) Random on the spot bare bottom swats with or without implements. This type of spanking should be administered randomly (i.e.: during a commercial break if your watching tv, by calling her to the room "out of the blue" or if your both in the kitchen/bathroom etc). The HOH can/should do this whenever it crosses his mind of no matter how often that it. Again, this is a reminder of who is in charge.

13.) Sex on demand (or any variation of sex)

14.) Providing a specific chore or errand (or list of) to be completed out of your presence. i.e.: cleaning the bathroom, washing the floor, cleaning out closets, grocery shopping etc.) If a daily list is provided, adding a “discipline” (i.e.: corner time, writing line etc.) to be performed out of his presence and before he returns home is not only an opportunity to “practice” that discipline but helps to build the trust between the couple. (He learns to trust she WILL do it whether he sees it or not and she learns to honor HIS trust in her).

The HOH must interject several of these things into each day.

Anything not immediately and unquestionably submitted to is considered blatant disobedience and warrants either a spot and/or full punishment.

And, of course, any punishments he deems "necessary" during this training period are still administered but they are in addition to practice not instead of and that she is receiving a punishment, not practice, needs to be made clear.

Final Note: Once the training period is over the HOH can retain the option of re-instituting additional training periods in the future. For example, a week, a month or a year later the HOH can decide that his wife needs a "refresher course" on submission and inform her that they will again enter into another training period. The "refresher courses" can be anywhere from a few days long to a few weeks long, the length of time is completely at the HOH's discretion.

The article above in no way reflects how everyone or anyone lived their DD lifestyle dynamic in 2005. The information available then was very different though. There weren't all the blogs on the DD subject like there is today. Most people looking for information online needed to look through Yahoo Groups and  limited alternative lifestyle sites where those of us interested in the DD lifestyle were the overwhelming minority. Leading up to 2005 it was easy to understand why different lifestyle choices shared some ideas while at the same time the DD community struggled to remain the respectful lifestyle choice it is known as today. That was not easy in a burgeoning online information community where real DD  information was sparse at best. A few spanking related chat-rooms were available but they were focused toward online spanking  fantasy more then real life Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle. Finding good information was much harder to come by back then. (ADDS will be going much deeper into this in an upcoming article.)

The original "Boot Camp" article has been presented because it was something people were emailing here and through the ADDS groups and asking about. If you have a question concerning the Domestic Discipline lifestyle community, write to MrBBSpanker using the Contact MrBB tab near the top of this page. 

Here are just two of the many resources on the subject.

Our Journey with DD / ttwd >  Rethinking Boot Camp

Boot Camp Fiasco on Hindsight Reflections:

Here is a link that has been researched over 15 years with the help of 100s of people beginning and re-setting their DD relationship dynamic. It is the proven way to patiently learn together.
* The FREE DD Guide > Where to Start: Beginning Your DD Lifestyle Together

UPDATE: A sales site (that copied the original idea of DD boot camp to write a book and not give credit to the fact that it wasn't their idea and didn't mention that all the info is already free online) falsely accused me of writing the "footnote" above. That shows no ethics, no research and quite frankly is hilarious. It is crystal clear to see I did not write the *footnote* It has been on the Discipline and Love DD Forum and is in the 2007 re-post of the 2005 essay. I very clearly stated that when I published this article but they skipped that information in their accusation. The "footnote is still there and has always been there since 2007.  
Yet mysteriously, when pointing to the "footnote" and falsely accusing me ... there is a purposely manipulated "screenshot" taken from this site and it's the only screenshot where the font got BIG all of a sudden to hide this statement:  Most people who have been around awhile already know that, and and don't care. The 2007 re-post can be found on the Discipline & Love forum. (wait... they actually plagiarize this site to try and say they aren't plagiarizers? lolThey attempted to again mislead their readers and devise a dishonest manipulation by editing one and starting the following screenshot with the "Take a minute to get a drink of water" line. If you know the truth, their business falls and they know it. Unsubstantiated accusations are the mark of dishonesty and deceit.

UPDATE 2/13: Do your research to learn the real truth about businesses posing as people with different blogs. Check IP addresses, their locations and how many blogs share the same IP addy and don't give your email address to anyone for something free or to join something. You give your email to someone and they can use it to send sales info and sell it as past of a list to other sales sites. When money is all a company cares about they will go to any length to deceive you and profit from you.
We are PROUD to have obviously exposed a deceitful business practice and their desperation has turned to using this sites posts to promote a rehash of something they found free online and turned into a way to capitalize monetarily on new people to our community. They purposely target beginners. A community of friends share good free information with one another. Businesses prey upon real communities. The community has visited this particular post more then any other here on the free ADDS information and resource site.We are honored to have been visited 100,00 times in the final three months of 2012, and another 100,000 in just over the two months that followed. Thank you for showing what people want to read and investigate when they want the truthful information on this subject and everything about the Domestic Discipline lifestyle and real-life (non-business driven) community. 
ADDS is proud to have finally forced the business site to ADMIT publicly they knew of free information that was not their original idea, and still used it (without giving proper credit) to sell a misrepresented version of the always free Domestic Discipline DD Boot Camp information at the expense of new people interested in researching the DD lifestyle dynamic. It was not our original intent, there are only a couple lines alluding to the harmful booklet, but since then the business site has lost their reputation and trust of the community. The only way to sell anything they do is to use trusted sites like this one to try and create buzz through conflict which is a well know unethical business practice. They have publicly admitted February was their best month, and surprise surprise that's the month they falsely attacked this site.
*** When someone has something to hide, they will try and deflect you away from the real information. In this case, the real information is stealing free information to sell to others who are new to our community. And by their own admittance they have been exposed as a  plagiarizer of the concept of DD Boot Camp and the information provided by an essay on a DD Forum where they they were a member. They will try to make accusations against reputable trusted people who have provided free information that has exposed their dishonesty and deceit. The more they squirm and attack, the louder their confession becomes.
It has also been uncovered that more then one blog/site is using the same IP addresses attached to the harmful business site.
They have tried repeatedly to bully myself and other people who are a caring part of this community. ADDS has been receiving an outpouring of support and we will be returning all your of emails. People are tired of their constant attempts to manipulate everyone for monetary gain.
Last time they had something to promote they did the same thing. They posted an Anon comment on their own blog to try and accuse me of writing it. This time they saw an Anon comment here and decided the strategy would be to take credit for it and say it was changed. Using this strategy again with only a slight change is a blatant attempt to use a smoke screen to stay away from answering the obvious questions.
Why they have taken free material  to profit from new people beginning to investigate Domestic Discipline. 
Why manipulate screenshots and information in an attempt mislead their own readers using material found here on this copy-written site to try and hide the *footnote* they have exposed themselves of knowing about that proves (by their own admission) they plagiarized.
Answer the real questions. Everything else is being seen by this entire community as a smoke screen and diversions proving further guilt and desperation.
Pointing at a con they pulled and playing victim is only shining a light on their con. Playing victim is another common con-man tactic where the con-man tries for sympathy in attempt to play on the heart strings of their victims in order to get their money. They tripped themselves up with inconsistent back stories and have been exposed. This community has no sympathy for that business and sees through all the deflections and smokescreens.        

Do you support A Domestic Discipline Society's long time focus that DD info should be free? If you have a "Boot Camp"  or DD Reset Schedule to share... write it in an email then send it to me with your name (or name you use online). If you write a blog, send your Blog name and a link to the post, and I'll copy/paste it over for you. I'll post them here to share! 

Stay up to date with everything DD >>> JOIN this ADDS site! 


  1. Wow, this is interesting, thanks for posting. I have not seen this before. Certainly different from the version of boot camp I have heard of!

  2. You're welcome. This has been re-posted before. The earliest re-post I could find was on the Discipline & Love forum in 2007.

  3. Anonymous10/26/2012

    Thank you for revealing that the "boot camp" being marketed isn't the original. A lot of things that "guy" posts (and sells) aren't original.. some of it isnt even accurate.

    People need to do more of their own research... and quit bashing other relationship models (such as the bdsm community... Where, as you said, a lot od tbks staeted.).

  4. Posting the original article wasn't meant to indict anyone. That's not the purpose. The purpose of ADDS has always been to present DD lifestyle ideas, concepts, terminologies and practices & more... for open non judgmental discussion in a format that promotes knowledge for those interested in, or living in, our lifestyle choice.
    I am glad to see you feel that people should do research before buying anything, and not adjudicate and come to conclusions about other peoples relationships that they know little or nothing about.

    1. Anonymous10/27/2012

      Thank you for the opportunity to discuss DD in a non judgmental form.. It is appreciated :)

  5. This really scared the bejeepers out of me. I have heard boot camp referred to, and always wondered what it entailed......
    I don't think I could ever submit to this, because it seems very harsh and I think I would feel like Ian didn't love me if he were to do some of those things.
    I don't mean to judge people who have used it, it just seems like a very difficult regimen to suffer through.
    But if it provides the stability that a couple is seeking, sometimes the ends justify the means. But - yikes!
    Thank you for posting this, Mr. Spanker, because I was curious, and it is good to know what it refers to.

    1. Hiya Lillie! Sorry, did you want to keep those bejeepers inside? :D
      This is just the original "DD based" version, and in my opinion the harshest "DD" version. Myself and some long time DD lifestyle friends got together on this subject in 08' and we tried to form one combined opinion/version based loosely on this original info. Each couple/team separately wrote a version. We all came back with unique versions! We tried to combine the similarities and there was barely enough for a DD afternoon BBQ... forget about a whole CAMP! lol
      We came to the obvious conclusion, that one of the beautiful expressions of our lifestyle choice is that it IS so individual to each person or couple. But it was fun :)

  6. Anonymous10/28/2012

    Very interesting reading, we both read it twice. I don't think we'll be doing anything like that though it is too intense. I have heard a DD Boot Camp before but didn't know anything more then the name and it was like old DD folklore lol Thank you for the right information.

    1. "old folklore! lol I like that! Wait, since I was around the DD world long before this article... uh oh, am I old folklore too???? :D.

    2. Anonymous12/26/2012

      No way! You are the rock n roll KING of modern DD MrBB!

  7. Anonymous10/28/2012

    Thank you your groups all have bringing out DD types of information for many years. I am happy to see there is a blog now too and one center place to find all DD information in the world.
    This blog is so nice to have everything about DD all together finally on one place to find it.

    1. Thank you Alexei. I think I remember the name from a free social network I Moderated from 2009 until last month. (down for maintenance) I am very happy to see my international friends are finding their way here :)
      And thank you kindly for the compliment about this site. There is still a lot more to come soon :)!

  8. Anonymous10/28/2012

    OH my gosh this is good information. Why doesnt anyone else share this kind of to the point DD info. I have been reading blogs and sites looking for good DD advice and info for two years. Thank my lucky starts I found this through a friend. There is nothing out there that isnt judging and trying to say they do it right and do your DD life the same way they do or it is wrong. Or they take things and try and say they made it up because they are too new to know there is a very large amount of people who already live this way and read everything on this subject. Don't be surprised if people start copying what you are doing here. Great info great advice great links just great for the DD community. Thank you for everything you do MrBBSpanker. Grace

  9. Thank you for a voice of reason in blog land. Selling Free DD material on Amazon is not an honest way to do business. Be original people. If you are going to sell a book, make sure the material in it is your own. If you are giving advice as a professional, please be willing to give your credentials.

  10. Thank you, if I can just share something with you, my husband and and I tried out this method not exactly like this but similar. We end up hating it, both of us, it has nothing to do with DD. I turned out to be scared and he felt so cruel to be so mean to me. We decided to never again go down this road again, and to rather do what we do best. We will love and trust each other, and if things turn out to be wrong he will punish me, but after that everything will be ok again. Bootcamp is not for everyone, and we won't suggest it to any couple who love each other. Do domestic discipline the way it works for your marraige and not others.

  11. Hello Mr BB Spanker, I'm Ami and I've been reading all these friendly blogs for three months now. I am feeling very comfortable with some of the community and Mick (Mick and Lynda's Blog) has been very helpful and understanding. Just to let you know that the Boot Camp article on amazon via my kindle was the first thing I read. It had me in tears. I thought it hateful. The reason is that I have been very happily married for 35 years and could not for the life of me understand why a man would ever ever want to do this to the person he purportedly loved. It really terrified me.

    Eventually through reading friendly blogs, and offering comments and asking questions I have begun to feel right at home; and I know I am teetering on the brink of bringing the idea of Dd to my husband. We don't have any particular problems, and our years of experience have meant that we generally work things through. But I am feeling more and more that my submission, or acquiescence to his decisions is more simply to "just go along with him" than out of submission, and I realise that our communication has really fallen off over the last few years.

    I would so like to get back on track and make improvements. I need to feel that my husband still loves and cherishes me - and I don't seem to get a lot of feedback anymore, unless I do something to upset him or go against his wishes.

    I have already decided that we need to talk about us and where we are going, and whether Dd might work. You would think that two professional people could do this easily - but it is so hard. I don't want him to think I have completely lost my marbles! I am equipped with a letter to the HOH that Mick wrote on the subject and it is excellent but I'm still nervous.

    However, everyone in their blogs seems to say that you can go slowly to begin with, and there is no need to be complicated. (Believe me, at my age I certainly wouldn't consent to kneeling on rice, naked in a corner!) I like your idea of sitting down to talk a couple of times a week, and also of maintenance to keep me focussed. Do you think I could ask him (my husband) to tell me what irritates him about me and suggest how these things could be improved, as a starting point? I can be very snarky when I'm tired or stressed, and I also have a tendency to procrastinate. Healthwise I need to visit the gym more and shed a pound or two. Could any of these things go on a starter list do you think?

    Also, I would feel happier, and more secure to go over his knee with his hand on my back. I know I shouldn't be the one to choose, but it's all pretty scary to begin with and I would love to feel "contact" with my husband. I also know he will find it difficult to hit me, as like most men, he was brought up to understand that you never hurt a woman (and we have known each other since we were both 16 and 17)and it might be easier for him to start off using his hand and not some scary implement. I've done some research and some of the methods of discipline seem very harsh to me at the moment.

    Does any of this make sense to you as I think I am now so nervous that I am beginning to ramble? It's just that you are obviously very knowledgeable!

    Best wishes, Ami.

    1. Ami posted the next day on Domestic Discipline Honesty post asking for a reply to this comment. (suggested you read the comment on DD Honesty post too)
      We emailed back and forth, Ami thought posting some of my reply might help someone else, I agreed. So, below is an edited portion of my email reply. I had to highly edit so I could fit reply on the blog and broken into portions to fit the comment format.

    2. The email was posted for two months. In retrospect I decided to remove it to get back to the discussion presented by this article.
      I won't include everything Ami wrote back.(most was private info) She is grateful for the site, friendly advice, info. She did close her email with a quick "review" of the booklet mentioned above though> "When I think how much I paid to download that book on Boot Camp to my Kindle my blood boils!"

  12. Anonymous1/16/2013

    I read that book while visiting a friend who bought it and is feeling like she was fooled. I found it was useless. Its just a bad watered down religious version of the article from 2005. Just stretched out and written in circles with no conclusions. It is clear he is brand new at dd but wanted to make money by trying to fool people into thinking he had a clue. How dare someone who is new try and sell dd advice when they clearly haven't learned it yet! Are they even real people or a fake business front to take advantage of new dd people?

  13. I bought the book and I had already read the above article NUMBEROUS times and felt so cheated out of $10 on amazon! I agree that his book showed a lack of experience and knowlege to even suggest that many spankings in one day and punishments spankings on top of that! My blood has been boiling too!


  14. Anonymous2/03/2013

    i looked them up on statscropcom (an impartial site tracker). they only get 20 visitors a day to the .com and they lied saying they got so much traffic it shut their site down! (?) how can they hire someone for a site with no traffic unless it's a company with many sites that is willing to pay the bill. they also ask for people to live in US for tax purposes which means they are a registered business with tax verification. according to statscrop their blog is located out of a business park in california next to a airfield. common practice for online business companies. the .com is at different location in arizona. it looks like a business & doesn't sound like a real dd couple. i think people need to just leave anything to do with them. they are not being honest in their business practice, they lie and their backstory is inconsistent and has changed, they use bloggers as free advertisers for their business, i dont trust them with any of my computer or finacial information, they cry victim and lie to a community they are now no longer a real part of, i feel betrayed because i was a part of their stuff and left when i saw everything they do turn to asking for money. i feel bad because they fooled some real and nice people whose reputations and feelings will be hurt. a lot of people were fooled, but that is over. i am thinking of starting my own blog
    mrbb will you please post this for me this time and read a email i sent with more information. please!
    ~ Truth & honesty

  15. Anonymous2/03/2013

    To be honest I am pretty appalled at their dishonest response. I have only been reading and researching DD material and blogs for 2 years now. I have read every article on your site and theirs. Where is thier hate their coming from? Are they really that upset that you write a site and it's better and free? It is not stated anywhere that they are professionals or that they have a degree even though they try and give inexperienced relationship advice and pretend to be a doctor. They are now revealed as a company that that is new to DD but trying to take advantage of the community.

    Your reference to their con about the "sick and dying" style story is perfect in exposing their dishonesty. They will tell any lie to make money. I actually remember when they wrote the post. I feel they were always asking for money anyway. I actually just prayed for the family but didn't feel a need to send them money. There was a post in a previous month relating to an issue the company had trouble with. I had a good idea why they pretended she was in the hospital. Never did I ask because there was no one to stand up for us like you have now done. You showed a lot about your true character by your statements above and staying true to your commitment to the real community. You say it like it is and we love you for it. From everything I have read you are the definition of a HOH, with respect and compassion for everyone. He lacks that in his dishonesty and repeated inconsistencies.

    My personal thought is they have a personal vendetta against you because they are jealous of your experience and success. Why did they not add a link to your site when they post something from this site? Thank you for going beyond just linking to outside resources.

    In ending I will say I practice DD with my spouse. I could honestly care less about their sites. I'll stay here with the truth.

  16. Anonymous2/05/2013

    I am a blogger and have to comment Anon because of bulling from the other place. I have been following this post and noticed the childish behavior of a site that doesn't want to answer the hard question. Why did they fake screenshots to cover up their own mistakes and why lie about the site being busy on Jan 15 when I checked stats crop and saw they have no real traffic just a few people. And we don't believe someone who is taking credit for the past Anon comment here trying to divert the real attention. (are they all the same person? reminds me of the Catfish tv show) You are right Mrbb they don't want people reading here and are trying to force people away and asked on twitter for people to leave. They must be afraid of the information here. All they seem focused on is you! You on the other hand have showed to true calm of a real HOH. You are ignoring them and it's getting funny how mad they are about it and they can't stop talking about you anywhere even on twitter.
    Thank you for always being an honest community builder, we appreciate you.

  17. Sorry so many people in blog land have gone on the attack. I am back showing my continued support for your blog and what you have done here. You have done your best to keep your blog free from drama but call bull when you see it. That is a good thing from my point of view.

    Ps. The blog in question is why I changed my blog name and address. They called me an angry person for calling bull on bad advice and asking questions about qualifications....

    1. I appreciate that very much Rose. My inbox filled up with similar support and Chat has been the same. But for me it's not a competition. This is a free site, what is there for me to gain, I can't get MORE free! LOL People don't need to choose. The real info is presented and people can do with it what they want, including nothing. I'll admit I thought it was very rude and I did get caught up with it for a little bit yesterday. But it went from watching something kind of funny at first to witnessing something really sad. I have gone back to ignoring them and just presented what I already had scheduled. All is getting back to normal except one blog making a veiled attempt to bring it all back up again. So disappointing. Hopefully all this will be water under the bridge. As far as I'm concerned it's been over for awhile now :)

  18. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read! Thanks so much!

    1. You are very welcome D. I'm glad you found the article interesting and helpful :)

  19. Just a few comments here.

    I'm the co-owner of the 'Discipline & Love' domestic discipline forums and DD information site. Prior to the advent of this site, I co-owned two other DD sites.

    "The Beginner's Guide to Leadership and Submission", which later came to be popularly known as "Boot Camp", was written in 2005 specifically for my first DD forum "Domestic Discipline 2" on MSN. It was written a forum member called Jacqueline, who was and is, in a traditional domestic discipline relationship and has never had any connection with the "BDSM" community. When MSN closed its groups in 2006, I opened the "Domestic Discipline Relationships" forum with Jacqueline and her husband and we took the article with us. Finally when that group closed, we took the article with us to "Discipline & Love". So what we have is not really a 'repost' as such, but simply a continuation from the original post.

    I should probably add that it was never intended to have the one sided label "Boot Camp" and was originally intended as an account of the mutual learning exercise designed and shared by a by a long term 'egalitarian' married couple who wanted to familiarize themselves with a new way to relate.

  20. Thank you Ros! I know you and I have chatted at length about this, and I am so glad you came by and included this "first person" account about the original essay/exercise. I prefer talking to others with experience when investigating DD info more then 5 years old. So many of the old groups and chat rooms where this essay was shared and talked about at length, are now gone.
    Ros, you really tied this up in a nice neat bow for all of the ADDS readers, I greatly appreciate your insights and your help with this article. Without your help, we wouldn't have the final definitive answers to the questions posed here. Thank you :)

  21. Anonymous9/27/2013

    Im glad I read this BEFORE I bought that book! I just happened to run across this and I am glad!

  22. Anonymous12/13/2013

    Thanks for the article! I tried DD with my wife, some time ago, and it bore a lot of resentment. We're going to try it again, and hopefully it works this time.

  23. I bought the ebook yesterday. My HoH and I read or should I say skimmed through about half of it. I'm ashamed at myself for actually buying information that I had already read here. I realized I could return it for a full refund. My husband has said that we will now only be following your site from now on Mr. BBSpanker :)

    Thanks for being the honest one. I was just desperately trying to find an outline or a schedule of exactly what we should be doing. We are on day one of a 6 day bootcamp. And yes, he said I could come on here to write this comment 😁

    1. Thanks for posting this here. I used to receive emails to this effect. I don't get them as often as I once did and I view this as a positive... the word is out there now. People are finding their DD info here and other free places.

  24. Anonymous1/01/2015

    I have read this article several times but have never been able to find the "footnote" that is referenced. Can you some how re-attach it or direct me to the link for it. Thanks.

  25. I really enjoyed this article and will use the techniques to help build upon our DD lifestyle. I find something new each time I come onto this site which is helping become a better HoH for my TiH.

    Thanks Again

    1. Thank you Matthew for coming by and commenting.
      I hope you continue to find this site helpful.

  26. You lost me at kneeling on rice. The rest sounds mostly reasonable and jives with what I've come to understand about the DD lifestyle after over a year of living it myself. I understand this is not presented as a boot camp that can't be altered to fit the comfort level of both partners, but that is a particularly harsh and excessively painful escalation of corner time, which I've always considered to be centered around reflection and contemplation for the TIH partner. A chance to calmly prepare for the deeper submission required to accept a painful spanking with grace. The addition of rice strikes me as unnecessarily torturous.

    1. Hi Brat,
      Not sure if you understood that I didn't actually write this article. The Boot Camp essay was originally written in 2005 and then re-posted in 2007.
      Starting out, like yourself with only around a year, with anything like Boot Camp is a complete mistake in my opinion. I have 30+ years real life experience to base that opinion upon.
      DD as a relationship choice shouldn't begin with a week-end or week of top down domination exercises to force someone into a submissive head-space. That is not what DD is so shouldn't be how it starts. It is proven not to work or last long term when begun this way. It can maybe be added later on after a couple years as some kind of scaled down role play, but it isn't a way to begin a consistent DD lifestyle dynamic.
      The way to prepare for what you mention as deeper submission is through communication and commitment by both partners and that takes time and dedication... not a week-end.
      Use The Free DD Guide here on this site if you want the best results. It's a long term template that really works and is proven through 15 years of study on the subject.


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