A Domestic Discipline Society (ADDS)

A Domestic Discipline Society® Domestic Discipline Community Homepage for Everything Domestic Discipline, Researching & learning Domestic Discipline. The focus of DD is relationship accountability & a tranquil household. And the caring, consensual use of discipline to enhance communication, deepen intimacy and reinforce relationship commitment. ADDS is where ALL varying styles of DD are brought together in ONE place! Use device larger then phone to see EVERYTHING!

20130715

Spanking for Jesus is a hoax: The reality of Domestic Discipline

This Community Sit Down Discussion is about all the negativity and damage that one post on one tabloid online site created. This has been the most misguided, negative and damaging piece of unresearched info to ever be published online. The author did not research the DD dynamic and tried to wrap DD into a personal vendetta against Christianity and condemn all men who have a christian belief and a DD foundation as wife beaters.

We as a community have stopped the viral lunacy, truth is here!

I was asked to be interviewed for the offensive article. I researched the author and could easily see that everything they were going to publish would be for shock value, offensive, negative and damaging to the entire DD community. I declined the offer in an attempt to protect the reality and integrity of this community.
I have since been researching and investigating the article, the author of the article and the interviewees participation in the article that was published condemning CDD as domestic violence. It's more of a "post" on an online tabloid site that is unsupported by any real research.
We all know domestic violence is abhorrent. But the author tried to warp DD and more specifically all men who believe in a form of CDD into being wifebeaters. There was no information presented outside of DD being practised as male/female CDD in a biblical and scripture based foundation. We all know that we love our CDD friends, but they are a very small group within a much larger and varied DD community. It looks like the author completely bypassed that information to put forth a personal agenda.

ADDS is the DD Community Homepage, it is important that this is addressed and fully investigated until the truth is known. ADDS presents DD as an open minded relationship foundation and doesn't report from only one aspect. ADDS has never referred to the HoH or TiH in a DD relationship as husband, wife, he or she. That's one of the reasons we are considered the Homepage for everyone living and learning about DD. ADDS believes that the concept and practices of DD have nothing specifically to do with religious beliefs, gender or relationship specifics.
I am collecting information so the ADDS article that comes out about this awful interview and subsequent posts afterward is completely unbiased and correct. ADDS has an article coming out but we didn't want to overreact without fully investigating. When the investigation is complete and all research and information is collected, the article will be published here.
I can say this so far:

There is information, tapes and transcripts that should be open to the public since everything was already published based on that research. Condemning a larger groups of people as a personal agenda is not journalism and all research (all 5 days ug) should be released publicly. If the author refuses to release the information, it proves that they, in their few weeks as a reporter, are hiding the truth. If the interviewee, who has notably come out and said that 99% of the article in question was false or completely made up, comes out and supports the release of all of the authors info, it will then make their position that everything the author said was false.
I have written the interviewee about having the information released to ADDS and I'm awaiting their reply.
I have asked the author a few simple questions and they have so far skirted around the issue.

Who is telling the truth?

Part of collecting information is understanding how people within our community feel. Let us know how you feel and what you are thinking. Also, if you're a blogger that wants to share how much you care about your relationship and others in this community, please contact me. I am going to share links to blogs who have or are going to share the reality of what a DD relationship means to them. If you're not a blogger but want to participate in getting the truth out, then write me and I'll share your story.

See you in The DD Community Chat Room!

Click the banner, read the rules and come on in :)

6 comments :

Anonymous6/30/2013
You really want to know how I feel? I think Clint has done more damage to the lifestyle than good. I think he tries to have his cake and eat it to. If one reads the reviews to his Boot Camp book on Amazon, one quickly finds negative reviews that bemoan the books focus on Christianity. Then he tries to turn right around and deny any Christian overtones or undertones to his practice of DD. You can't have it both ways and he constantly tries to. He comes across as hypersensitive and anal about DD and that can't present the best picture of what an HOH supposedly is to outsiders. Even in the whole ordeal between you two he painted himself as some kind of martyr and it was just mind boggling in a way how involved his posts were in trying to defend himself. What a control freak.

Now to Chelsea. In her blog post regarding DD she mentions classes she took in college concerning gender and gender roles and how she is rejecting what she was taught. How can she say she is rejecting those progressive theories regarding gendered behavior then turn right around and deny that she and Clint are endorsing the idea that women are naturally to be submissive?

Look, my husband and I practice a very mild form of DD, so I'm not judging the practice. But, if he for one minute thought it was his god given right or responsibility to discipline me, I would be horrified (and he would to, since he's an atheist). So, I can see why people with no knowledge of this lifestyle would be horrified by what they have read this past week. But when you proselytize a lifestyle, which Clint and Chelsea do, that's the risk you take and you better make damn sure you have all your ducks in a row before you sit down for an interview.
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rednakedy6/30/2013
So glad you addressed this. I don't have a blog but have certainly been aware and concerned about the *SHTF* that it has caused. Thanks for this background and additional info.

But I think this ridiculous article you're referring to has been trumped this week by the greater concern that Google's "Blogger" is threatening to take down adult blogs that don't comply with their new contents rules. I've read their email three times now in various blogs and still can't fully understand what kind of links CAN still be put on blogs and what CAN'T. If you (or someone with a full grasp of it) could/would help explain that I know it would be helpful.

Personally, I have emailed the authors of two blogs who graciously added links in their blogs to our etsy shop (where we sell paddles)that if it is going to cause them any trouble to have those links in their blogs that we would certainly understand and harbor no hard feelings if they decide to remove them. We are far more concerned that they be able to continue to have their blogs up and open, than we are any free publicity for our little shop. So what IS the actual applicable rule there? These two blogs merely offer a shortcut/link that goes straight to our shop. We have no "PORN" for sale in our shop. And the authors of those blogs are not getting any $$$ from any of our sales. Nor are we paying them to advertise for us on their blog or anywhere else. Is that the kind of link that can get them shut down or not?

I'm really hoping you can help inform your public of those kinds of details. I "get" that Google (sadly) does have the right to demand this. It is "their house" and they can tell the people who live there for free that they can't make any money selling porn out of their house. Of course, let's not even get STARTED of what defines porn... That's a whole other issue.

Can you offer any clarification on the new content rules and who/how they would affect? Thanks in advance since I'm sure you share our concerns on this issue as well.
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Ashley6/30/2013
The whole thing is sad. I agree with anonymous though haha...and I don't have a history of being "controversial." I think a little help online is awesome...but bootcamps and books and advocating constantly for this lifestyle is just really overpowering. The "it's one way or the highway" as far as HOW one practices is also over the top and could come across chauvinistic and like the man has the "right" ...which isn't god given at all. I love me a good HOH - but if Z wrote a book about the correct way to do it and why you should do it and then used Christianity as ANY part of why he thinks what he thinks...I wouldn't be onboard at all. Maybe the Learning DD website isn't a "Christian" website but I think it kind of comes across that way...
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Anonymous7/05/2013
If my husband had to buy a freaking book to go by, I would think he had lost his mind - and his balls.
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Anonymous8/31/2015
Having been a practitioner of "domestic discipline" since long before it acquired that name and having been on the internet since about the only want to access it was through an academic server, I have followed the topic with great interest.

Consequently, having corresponded with Clint, I found him to be both insecure and a control freak. Furthermore, as I specifically pointed out to him, some of his material was rather obviously liberally borrowed.

My specific warning to him was that his website would not last. His ego was simply too fragile. Besides, there is, and quite frankly always has been, too much free information available for anyone to corner the market.

Give a couple a few insights, and they can fit the pieces of the domestic discipline puzzle together on their own. Both separately before we began dating, and later as a couple, my wife and I figured this thing out before there was even an ARPANET (a pre-internet) and texts on the subject were considered obscene.

In reality, all we'd done growing up was to observe the world around us. Much like my wife found out from personal experience, I realized girls were getting spanked long after boys out grew it. We picked up hints that our mothers' generation of wives were likewise sometimes spanked by their husbands.

Domestic discipline isn't rocket science. It little more than a strategy men and women developed to hold marriages together in the days before professional marriage counseling when couples were expected to privately work out their differences instead of paying attorney fees to tell the world they didn't play well together.

The Christian label became attached to domestic discipline because the notion of a male-led marriage fit neatly into a particular species of conservative evangelical fundamentalist logic. Yet, in reality, domestic discipline is far less Christian than it is traditional. In fact, traditional marriage was one of the earlier names applied to marriages incorporating domestic discipline.

Meanwhile, as self-professed domestic discipline experts come and go, rise and fall, unnoticed are those couples able to quietly hold their marriages together while those around them so often fall apart. They're really the ones that transmit the collective knowledge from generation to generation.
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