Defending Domestic Discipline: I Love my DD choice

Defending Domestic Discipline from the ignorance & intolerance of people like Brandy Zadrozny. Recently a horrible interview was conducted that went insanely viral, spreading misleading and completely misguided information. The ignorance, intolerance and lack of research is disturbing. None of the so called "reporters" did any research and each one basically copy/pasted what the last one wrote instead of doing any investigation or reporting of their own.

I love reporters. I love the reporters that do investigative research and report with journalistic integrity. Those are the people seeking tirelessly for the truth, and refuse to publish or present anything until they share all sides of an issue and get the story right. Sadly there are people who have agendas and pretend to be reporting when in reality all they're doing is attacking or promoting their one sided and uneducated opinion on a subject. In my opinion, this is like a time long ago when narrow minded people oppressed others because of the color of their skin, sexual preference, financial standing or anything they deemed different then them.             Intolerance is ignorance. 

I don't live what I consider a CDD style of DD. I am a Christian man and I have been living a DD style of a life for about 30 years. But my religious ideologies and my relationship choice are separate entities in my life. 
Personally I also enjoy investigating and researching. I believe in sharing correct information. A Domestic Discipline Society was founded at a time when there was a lot of confusion and misinformation about what the DD lifestyle dynamic was all about. ADDS has always been a place where clarity could be found through experienced education and sharing knowledge between members. This site is one part of the ADDS ensemble of discussion groups and online spaces that are not motivated by money and doesn't care about publicity or "hits" to this site. You will always find correct and useful information and the truth about the DD lifestyle dynamic in a free and open manner.
People in our community shy away from calling themselves an expert on the subject. It's common knowledge in our community that I have lived this style of life my whole adult life, helped people learn about DD for the past 25 years, been doing an in depth study on how to properly begin and sustain this lifestyle dynamic for the past 15 years, founded A Domestic Discipline Society in 2005 and nurtured it to collectively become the largest and most active DD community in the world. So, I don't shy away from saying I do have some expertise in this area.

That's why, when I read a post published on June 19th by Brandy Zadrozny, I was saddened that she didn't do any real research. She contacted me on June 13th to ask me for an interview and claimed to be a reporter for Newsweek. So, as usual, I did some research of my own. I searched her name on the official Newsweek site and under her name she is listed a reporter for an online tabloid, and is not listed directly, as many reputable reporters are, as a reporter for Newsweek. When someone contacts me and the first thing they do is lie or stretch the truth about being a reporter for a respected news source, but turn out to be nothing more then a brand new writer for an online tabloid, that's not only a red flag, it's fraud. Right from the start things looked wrong. Brandy got her brand new and first job as a reporter in May. Congrats on your new job Brandy, but you're not a reporter until after you've reported on something meaningful. At the time you contacted me you had only recently posted your first article about Low Cal Summer Cocktails. Not quite the shock value she was looking for or it might have been called Cocktails for Jesus! So her second endeavor is to report on Domestic Discipline. And she decided to wrap Christianity into it and try to manipulate it so all Christian men who live in a consensual lifestyle called DD are wife beaters? And women are meek and trapped against their will? Reporting on an entire relationship dynamic that is part of a large Domestic Discipline community and is lived so differently by so many people is a large mountain to climb! But within a couple days she thought she had it all figured out. So she stole from a title used last February as the title of an article on another site's English affiliate that included "Spanking in the Name of the Lord" as part of the title... well that looks familiar. You're not very original are you Brandy. Or wait, maybe this wasn't a post about CDD, maybe she needed the Christian angle and CDD as hype to publicize an article degrading Christianity and christian men as wife beaters. She goes so far left of reality in her post and tries to be degrading to the couple she interviewed, even mocking a young woman's voice, that it became evident she had an agenda before she began writing.
She appeared on a video interview a few days after the post was published, and admitted she already had thought DD was abuse before she published her piece. And everyone involved was "bananas" Not sounding like much of a journalist with an open mind Brandy. You went into the project manipulating information to fit your personal agenda. You have lost all journalistic integrity and make other reporters on the staff where you now work, suspect. And your editor completely lost all credibility with you.

Brandy falsely reports, "You don’t have to be a Christian to practice domestic discipline, although many of its practitioners say they believe that domestic discipline goes hand in hand with their faith." 
Starts out alright, then turns completely false. MOST people who live a Domestic Discipline lifestyle do NOT entwine their religious views into their relationship choice.
Again, if there were any research done that would have been clearly evident.

 The "expert" she used is a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths. What the heck? How far left of the truth did she have to go to manipulate this part of her opinion? A relationship dynamic like DD is outside of the scope of practice for a forensic psychologist, and specifically one who works exclusively with sexual psychopaths. Again, the writer would have known that with some research. She might as well have asked her local veterinarian to comment. It would be like asking the paperboy to be a media consultant!

Brandy completely missed that DD is a widely varied relationship dynamic. 

From a little research, it was clear Brandy is not an experienced reporter. She not only had no experience, but now has no chance for credibility as a journalist. She goes on to report nothing about the reality of DD. There is zero information pertaining to the fact that there are many female led households or same sex relationships. That DD is not based on gender. DD of any kind is 100% consensual or it is not DD. Consent can be renegotiated or taken back if either partner does not agree it is 100% consensual, or for any reason.
But any of that information in the post would have ruined her narrow and ignorant view. She would have lost all of her shock value, which was more important then the truth.

According to her public LinkedIn account, she starts out as a Teacher Librarian, goes on to be a data analyzer, and for the past two months lists herself not only as a reporter/researcher but in the Marketing and Advertising arena. So now it makes more sense. Marketing and advertising can be seen at times as pure hype and trying to sensationalize more then tell the truth. In this case it's bad self marketing and false advertising. She has no background on the subject and she did no real research into the relationship dynamic of DD. Sorry Brandy, happy you found a job in these hard times, but your second effort  is a debacle based on speculation and your personal opinion Do you have an editor? Did they even look at this fabrication or do any research of their own? Or did they just print without checking for facts? You made the editor look like a fool.

I contacted Brandy when I began gathering information for this article. The line she used in her post on a tabloid website, that she turned into the shock title "Spanking for Jesus" was not a quote. I found that suspect, so I simply asked a yes or no question... Did she (the interviewee) actually say she lived DD for Jesus? Brandy replied, which I appreciate, but she completely skirted around the question and did not answer it.
However, she did write,
 "I totally understand why (Interviewee) would be uncomfortable with the way the article was received and my conclusions, but the article was accurate."

My reply: "You mention the post was accurate because of your conclusions, I would say you need information and research to make correct conclusions about a subject that you didn't know anything about only days before you published it. What you published is being seen as opinion and speculation at best. Reported in a way that would fit into preconceived notion for an article about domestic abuse.

Personally I think reporting against domestic abuse is admirable. But DD is not domestic abuse on any level, and if you had only taken your time and researched that would have become evident".

She goes on to write: "I’ve looked on your site as well and I make clear that there are lots of different ways to practice. Unfortunately I could not detail them all. The article was an accurate portrayal of the experiences of several people that I interviewed first hand."

My Reply started with one line from her post: "You don’t have to be a Christian to practice domestic discipline, although many of its practitioners say they believe that domestic discipline goes hand in hand with their faith" 

I continued: "That's the only line that even mentioned DD outside of CDD, and you backtrack to an untrue statement that would have easily been discovered if you had done more then a couple of days of research. CDD is a fraction of the people who live a DD style of dynamic within their relationship. So "many" are the ones who do not include their religious beliefs as part of their relationship choice. And using a title like "Spanking for Jesus" definitely does not accurately portray the relationship choice.  

And if you talked to anyone else, I think there would have been more accurate information in the post and you would have mentioned them."

Since she was seeming to be diverting around the question, I asked again: 

And you still avoided the question, Did (Interviewee) actually say she gets spanked for Jesus? Or they live DD for Jesus?

You publicly put that in your post, and used that in your title so I don't know why you would skirt around that question now if you had real proof. It's an easy Yes or No.

I went on to reassure her:

"I'm not on one person's side or the other regarding the argument that you fabricated most of your article or not. I've been living this dynamic respectably and consensually for about 30 years and founded ADDS in 2005. The site has quickly become the Homepage for the DD community because it's a trusted place for real information. I need to know the truth before posting anything there. I am looking for the truth before I post an article and I know the writers that decided to piggy-back on your post did not do any research.  So it comes down to the truth of your article. I hope you understand and I appreciate your writing back."

Her Reply: She said nothing was fabricated, but again failed to show me any proof. 

Brandy Zadrozny has no credibility as a journalist and owes a retraction and an apology to this entire community. So does her editor and the tabloid.
She had a misinformed and uneducated opinion and manipulated information to fit into her narrow view.
The writers who are now copy/pasting each others content are sad excuses for journalists and are trying to spread un-researched opinion thinly veiled as fact. Why didn't any one of them do their own research or investigate Brandy's unfortunate article. Sadly those outside our community are continuing to believe it as fact and it sets us back years in sharing correct information that may help others seeking this dynamic in the future. The damage has only just begun. But, it's time to turn the tables.

When I first read the post by Brandy, I did think "Oh no, I knew this would happen" A business site is more likely to jump at the chance at making a dollar then think of the long term negative ramifications to the community and everyone involved. But, I stepped back and noticed all the holes in the post. Since ADDS is a DD Community Homepage, it was necessary to find both sides of the story.
So, I contacted the interviewee and asked the same question that I asked Brandy.
"Did you actually say she was spanked for Jesus or lived DD for Jesus?"

Interviewee replied within a few days:
"To answer your question, no I did not say "This isn't abuse, this is for Jesus". I also didn't say 99% of the other things in her article." 

She directed me to a post she published and it was more about sharing new information about herself and being an "All American girl" & her life as being "borderline perfect." Not so much about the article.
Although there was a statement reaffirming something from the first lines of Brandy's article.
"Spankings are the most severe form of punishment. There have been severe ones (for severe offenses) that I would rank at about an 8 on a 1-10 pain scale. For the very large majority of them (i.e.- all of them except maybe 3 I’ve ever had?) I would rank significantly less."

The only other part of a very long post that pertained to Brandy's post was:
"You may have read an article recently that was published in a well known media outlet. I did an interview with the reporter for over an hour. Like most media outlets, the reporter altered, twisted, or otherwise changed (and, in one case flat out made it up) a very very very large majority of what I said to make it appear as if domestic discipline was a cult-like, abusive, thing. It’s unfortunate that it happened. But, in that article, it was painted (based on completely inaccurate, twisted, manipulated, or otherwise altered statements) that domestic discipline was abusive. After reading that article, I think anyone would think that."

Other parts were about their DD/CDD dynamic and were surprising:
"Domestic discipline is a small, but important, part of our marriage. I think most of you would be surprised to hear that we rarely talk about domestic discipline." But she says they do talk about the DD business site a lot.
... "but domestic discipline in our own marriage comes up infrequently, and only when it’s necessary."
..."I get punished rarely. Sometimes it’s more frequent (like once a month) but sometimes it’s only about twice a year. That means that domestic discipline in our marriage could, in theory, only be brought up twice a year. And, when it does, it’s pretty short. Punishments don’t drag on for days, weeks- or even hours. So, just to reiterate, this is not a frequent thing."
I was beginning to wonder why they did the interview at all. Why would they claim to be CDD for the interview then deny it later? And the twice a year part didn't ring true. First, there's a long progression that leads to Punishment as a last resort, not a first response that occurs only twice a year. And according to their very first explanations of themselves about two years ago, he had been familiar with DD for a year then, and she was newer then that. I know they have re told their background a few times and each time say they have more and more experience. I usually believe the first story people tell. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with living DD around 3 years. That's wonderful actually. But when looking for the truth in one area, there needs to be a pattern of truth to gain credibility.

But, honestly, I still believed that the Brandy's article was as they had said... highly fabricated. I mean really, who would say they lived DD for Jesus? It just seemed too improbable and sensationalized. And that statement was purposely not a quote. It seemed forced and too close to the "Spanking in the Name of the Lord" title from the February article posted on the English site.
Also, as mentioned above, Brandy wouldn't answer a question directly and the interviewee did.
Brandy mentioned that she has a transcript proving she was telling the truth and nothing was fabricated.
So I wrote the interviewee back. I asked a pivotal question in helping them to exonerate themselves.
"Can I ask, did she record your conversation because she claims to have transcripts of the conversation. "Transcripts" imply a written recreation from a recording and reporters always record interviews. If she actually has recordings or a transcript would you be alright with my asking for a copy? 

That would completely prove you're right that she manipulated the information and made parts up. From what I can garner, she researched maybe 5 days at most. I wouldn't even call what she did research. 

I wanted to check with you first, because if you say it's alright, and she won't release the transcripts or recordings, then that's enough real proof that she's hiding something."

The reply I received was the last one and it was received on July 2nd. It was a little like Brandy's first reply in the fact that it completely skipped an important question asked and just said it was ok to use some information from the post she wrote and directed me to. So, I wrote them back on July 6th expressing a belief in them and reiterating the same question word for word.

I thought for sure they would jump at the chance to prove their accusations that Brandy fabricated 99% of the post. Everything other then the "bruising" comment was false they said. This is their chance to prove they are right. Take it. Running away or attempting to create drama as a distraction or anything other then taking this opportunity will be seen by everyone as shared guilt. Stalling will be seen as a tactic to come back later and say "lets just forget it" Anyone who wants it to just go away is showing they have something to hide.
Everyone in this community would support you standing up and proving the truth once and for all.
If either side would like to prove what they say is the truth, they have a way to do so. No excuses accepted.
Release the tapes and transcripts publicly, minus any personal information if it's mixed in. Usually not. That's all in the writers notes or possibly at the very beginning of a taped conversation. Easily edited out.

It feels like both sides are embarrassed and would like to just see it all go away. That is not going to happen.
The interview and article are the very worst thing to ever happen to this community. We have been dragged through the mud and called abusive, trapped and wife beaters. We will never stand for that kind of ignorance and in this lifestyle, we believe in accountability. Be accountable and the one telling the truth stand forward and simply release the recording and transcripts to the public or publicly ask for the transcripts to be publicly released.

If the interviewee has anything difficult to say, remember in this community we believe in Honesty & Forgiveness.

If the interviewee is correct and telling the truth, Brandy Zadrozny and her editor are guilty of Libel. In the world of journalism that will end a career. Yes, this is serious. You do not paint an entire group of people as abusive the way they did, all based on manipulation and unresearched fabrication.
Libel: a) a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression
b (1) : a statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt (2) :defamation of a person by written or representational means(3) : the publication of blasphemous, treasonable, seditious, or obscene writings or pictures (4) : the act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

Is there a lawyer who would like to take the case? I'm serious.

I would like to touch on an even more serious issue. When someone is in an abusive situation, the last thing they need is to have misinformation spread. Putting false information out into the public realm hurts those who are really in need. It hurts families and respectable men and women who work tirelessly to help those who are really in need. I know first hand that false reports do so much damage to everyone involved. It wastes the time and resources needed by workers to help those who actually need help.  Forget about religion, DD or anything else, if there is abuse, it does need to be addressed immediately. If you know someone in need, get them help right away. Brandy, you have done more harm then anything else by trying to condemn an entire group of christian men as wife beaters. You should be ashamed.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org 
Please note: when you go to that website, your location is tracked. 
They don't appreciate false reporting either. The DD community does not tolerate abuse of any kind.
DD is consensual. But if you know anyone in or out of our community please help them.
Please get help if you need help or give this information to someone you know needs assistance.

I'm glad that others in our community are posting their opinions and feelings based on real life experience.
We as a community need to support our community. The time for turning the other cheek is over. Pun intended on both fronts.
We all say we love our DD choice and the friends we have here and we support the community. The time has come to step forward and show you support for each other.
If you have a blog, post or re-post an explanation of DD in your life. Share the reality of all the positive effects since the time you have started until now, and what this community has meant to you.
Use I Love my DD choice  as a title or part of the title. It's written that way to convey I Love DD, and my choice. And by all means, please use the picture at the top of this article :)  
And if you do, or don't have a blog or never shared a Comment before, tell us if you are a HoH or TiH, share your opinion or simply state in support "I Love my DD choice!" Readers and lurkers need to come out and be heard. Bloggers need to use their voice in support of this wonderful community.

UPDATE: Since this article was first published, the Interviewee from the Spanking for Jesus post has come forward publicly and privately and given their full permission to release the transcripts to the public. Both myself and the Interviewee have contacted Brandy but she seems to be in hiding and has not responded to the request to keep her promise and release any tapes and transcripts. This casts a shadow on Brandy, her Editor and the publication. After accusing a huge community of people of horrible acts and practices, now that she is exposed as fabricating her information, why wouldn't a "want to be" journalist come out right away to prove herself as being truthful? Why is she hiding now?

 Related Articles & Information on ADDS:

* Next article w/ links to research: Domestic Discipline is Consensual: DD is Loving

DD Definition ~ Defining Domestic Discipline: Domestic Discipline Lifestyle Definition
The DD Foundation ~ Domestic Discipline Foundation: The 3C's of DD 
DD Relationship Consistency ~ DD Relationship CONSISTENCY is ONE of the 3C's of DD 
DD Communication ~ Domestic Discipline COMMUNICATION: Key and 3C of DD

* DD CONSENT >> Domestic Discipline CONSENT: DD is 100% Consensual

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I will share links to all supportive bloggers of the DD community here. All links will be posted on Thursday July 18th. Do not be left out. Blog and comment and support each other and the entire community. >>>  Email MrBB here with your Blog Link
I will go to each blog that emails their link in support of the community and share it here on Thursday.
Saturday & Sunday there will also be an Open Forum in The DD Community Chat Room. Times TBA

+1 on Google+, Tweet and share on Facebook. Be the first to tell your friends.

First new articles in support of our choice & community are coming in I'll collect more through the weekend:
After Commenting here on ADDS, please show your support by posting a Comment on each of the blog posts that will be appearing below over the next few days. It can be as simple as "I Love my DD choice!"

MrBB from ADDS: Domestic Discipline Consent: DD is 100% Consensual

Jason's Girl from, The Taming of the Shrew:   "I love my DD choice" 

Tara at, A former wild child:  I love my dd choice... and stand by my community

Bob from Thoughts on TTTWD     I Support DD

Shadowplay from The Butterfly Emerges United We Stand

Honey from Handful of Honey  I love me DD marriage and my DD community!

Butterfly from Butterflys wants & Bumblebees needs Here is another reason i love DD

Coral from My King of the Castle ~ His little Rascal  I Love my DD choice  

Stay up to date with everything DD >>> Choose how to JOIN ADDS here!