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20130530

Domestic Discipline Community Sit Down Discussion

This weeks DD Community Sit Down Discussion: *Confession*
Confessing when a rule has been broken or breached is one of the Keys to DDThis is one area many TiHs find very difficult, especially in the beginning. A DD relationship includes the TiH being completely honest in the agreed upon Power Exchange... even when the HoH is not around. And that's just one area where Confessing plays a key role in a successful Domestic Discipline lifestyle.



This Sunday's DD Community Sit Down Discussion comes from one of the Keys to DD and is more fully explained in an early post from this site: Domestic Discipline Confession

The Keys to DD series can be found here: Keys to DD (Series)

Community SitDD Explanation: Domestic Discipline Lifestyle Community Sit Down Discussion
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Some general ideas for Comment & Discussion:

   For TiHs new and experienced 
How difficult do you think it would be, was it, or is it still... for you to Confess a misdeed or broken rule when you know the outcome will be some type of Disciplinary Action?

   HoHs & TiHs: 
How important is Confessing in your DD lifestyle dynamic?

Do you include any type of "ritual" while the TiH is Confessing a transgression? (a particular pillow to hold or kneel on, or in certain room, at a certain time, on a certain day... etc)

   HoHs newer & experienced: 
How would you, have you, or do you... enable your loving TiH partner to feel more comfortable approaching you to Confess an infraction, without shirking any of your responsibilities?

When you know it has been agreed, and has to be the outcome, how difficult is it to always follow through with a spanking or further disciplinary action when your loved one has just Confessed to failing to complete part or all of a goal that you know they have worked so hard to attain?
Please feel free to Comment below as part of this weeks DD Community Sit Down Discussion. The discussion begins every Sunday morning, and continues all week as a general discussion topic. Your Comments below, are also discussed in The DD Chat Room throughout the week.


18 comments :

  1. It is very hard to confess but it is also about trust. Just how much do I trust my husband? I know he will be fair. Just because I broke a rule doesn't mean I will be published. That is his decision.

    There is no ritual. It is just how things are done. A few nights ago I had to confess. It was hard but something I have done many times before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Dragon's Rose :)
      I agree it has a lot to do with the trust that has been built & the fairness shown in how well the Disciplinary Action fits the misdeed in the past also.

      Delete
  2. We just recently began using an infraction book. I write anything in it that my Hoh says I need to such as sassing or whatnot and if he is not home and I do something such as curse... I have to put that in there. I must say sometimes I am tempted not to! But I still do. I also go to him and tell him or mention it before maintenance. We don't have a ritual for confessing per say. I have asked if he is sure he wants to know! Maybe he doesn't! Maybe it would be easier or better thinking I was just so good all day long! But that would be a lie so he says no I must tell him of course. OF COURSE I DO. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sounds like you are working hard on building a positive plan & process.

      Delete
  3. I am a terrible at keeping things from Ty. Especially over his lap. He always knows when to ask me if there is anything else I want to tell him and (sigh) I break and spill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And hopefully that gives you the "clean slate" you were needing.

      Delete
  4. I find this so hard. Especially if I think there may be a chance of 'getting away with it' if I don't confess. I have learnt though that keeping things secret from him can build up barriers though and keeps us apart as I feel guilty and it affects the way I act with him.
    I want him to trust me though so I need to be honest
    J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true Janey! The stress and guilt that builds up can be so much more harmful.

      Delete
  5. We use a log to chart daily tasks and self-reporting. I have to check off things as I complete them. If I have a sour attitude or something, I have to self-report. Like Quiet Sara's comment - I have been tempted not to, but I always do. My husband would know anyway. He can read me like a book.

    Kat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm an advocate of listing different things too. I think it helps. And it's interesting if I'm understanding correctly, that you have a little daily kind of check in/self report along with your list. I like that idea.

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  6. It's definitely a tough thing, but important too. I think the hardest part about it (for me anyway) is that we see one another so rarely that I'd hate to ruin the little time we have together with a confession and then a punishment, you know? I mean, it happens! But, definitely it's tough. Luckily because of this however, he does go a bit more easy on me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can imagine that would be difficult Riley!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous5/29/2013

    Looking for advice. My husband and I have been practicing for a year.. And I have been better at communicating my thoughts and feelings but sometimes I still act out to get a reaction out of him. I feel guilty after for provoking him.. But why do I keep doing this? Sometimes he acts on it but mostly he doesn't. And then I am left with feeling like I am more trouble than I am worth..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you want to confess this behavior?
      What confuses me is the comment you just left on the "HoH Leadership: Why No Consequences for the HoH Questions Answered post" where you said DD should be F/M.
      From that comment it seems like there are building resentments and that would be an issue toward the reasons mentioned in this comment. But lets not get off topic from this post, I think being honest and confessing your real feelings would be a positive re-start for you.

      Delete
  8. I've confessed to some things and received punishments, but there is one big thing that I'm holding back because the punishment would be epic. It makes my legs weak just thinking about it. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I may... take your time and be patient. Yes, honesty is a vital Key to DD, but knowing the right time and place to share something is also very important Tara. That's another reason why building communication is more important then anything about spanking when beginning a DD relationship.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous9/06/2014

    We are just starting to develop the list of rules and punishments. Is there any kind of chart etc to help prioritize or to help list possible punishments etc?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Within this blog there are several articles about HoH Lists and how to build them. However, they are not a list of punishments. DD isn't about punishment, The articles are about how to build an agreed upon area that is constructed upon fairness and consent.

      Delete

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