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20121124

Liebster Award with a Domestic Discipline twist?


UPDATE: 11 DD Questions Answered.  A lot of friends have been emailing & asking ADDS to participate in the Liebster Award. This site is part of the ADDS discussion groups and sites that are specifically about Domestic Discipline resources, education and knowledge sharing.  I didn't know if I should participate. I'm known as an honest person who tells the unfiltered truth. So to be completely honest, I also really didn't feel 100% comfortable asking 11 friends to then have to ask 11 of their friends etc...  Then I read Bonnie's MBS blog and decided she had the right idea!

I'll post 11 questions for anybody who would like to answer them. One of my dilemmas was solved. So, to answer the other one, I'll post 11 Domestic Discipline style questions posed to anyone on the ALL Domestic Discipline Blogs list of links or the DD Friendly list of links featured here on this ADDS site. 
Now on to the final quandary,  which person's  list of questions should I answer. Again I need to be honest, I didn't want answer over 100 questions tonight, while also getting everything ready for my relatives and friends all coming to my home for the holidays. lol 
So I found the first person to ask was our dear friend Lillie and thought that would be most fair. 
Here are the questions Lillie sent:

1.  What is the best dish you make?
I make a mean Chicken in a white wine sauce with artichoke hearts and I'll usually             include a loaded twice baked potato. But for my holiday guests, lets hope my deep fried turkey & honey baked ham hit the spot.  

2.  Who is your favorite author?
I don't have a favorite author. But I enjoy history and reading about real events and people. Or anything dealing with modern psychology & relationships.

3.  Book you are reading?
50 great Myths of Modern Psychology

4.  Favorite section of the zoo?
I love the zoo in general but my favorite place at the zoo I go to most often, is a bench under a shady tree that looks out on a huge preserve style area where there are all sorts of different animals living together and coexisting.

5.  Favorite board game?
A different variation then intended but... Paddle Board?

6.  Place in the world you most wish to visit?
Ireland. I've been there many times, but it's been a long time. Both my parents are elderly and I would love to take them there at least one more time.

7.  Cause you feel strongest about?
I feel strongly about several causes but volunteer my free time to the elderly & providing food boxes to those in need.  

8.  Person you would most want to take to a deserted island?
One person? If I can't take everyone I'm not going lol

9.  Skill you possess?
I'm a trained counselor

10.  Favorite outdoor activity?
Jogging/running. I love the outdoors... have I mentioned Paddle Board? lol

11.  Something you refuse to eat?
               ~  MY WORDS :)

11 things about me.
1) I'm a major health advocate. Diet/exercise all that good stuff
2) I studied Psychology in college
3) involved in teaching about DD long before it was ever called DD
4) I'm a free speech and free press advocate
5) I'm 6 foot tall
6) I have played various sports all my life
7) I enjoy community events
8) I listen to all styles of music, from classical to punk
9) I played drums and sang in a popular local band for years
10) I have an unusually high IQ
11) I have an uncanny memory 

Eleven Domestic Discipline Questions
Answer these on your blog or include them as the focus of your next Sit Down Discussion (SitDD)

1) When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline?
2) What drew you toward finding out more about Domestic Discipline?
3) Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you?
4) Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum? 4a) If so, where else do you find information about Domestic Discipline?.
5) Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples?
6) Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too?
7) In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons?
8) When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was?
9) What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer? 
10) What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline?
11) (in your own words) What IS Domestic Discipline?

Answering "I don't know" or I'm still learning about that" are completely honest and acceptable answers. If you would like, email me through the Contact MrBB Tab if you answer the questions and would like your Blog address posted here for us to go there and read along with your answers :)  


(Feel free to use the Eleven DD Questions Answered Pic above if you'd like) 

Roz in His Hamds
Deferring to Dave
Respecting Mistress
if you have posted answers to Eleven DD Questions, please email me with your link after you post :)

Roz from Roz in His Hands blog
* When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline?  I can't remember exactly.  I think it was about two years ago.
* What drew you to finding out more about Domestic Discipline?  We had played around with D/s dynamics before commencing DD.  However, it felt more like role playing and we wanted something that felt more natural and that was a lifestyle rather than an occasional game.Also, I have naturally submissive tendencies in that I generally defer to others to make decisions.  Therefore, I was already deferring to my husband in this area and we wanted to take this further.
* Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you? Absolutely.  Although we have some fun with it, we take it very seriously and it underpins how we relate to each other.  There is also no 'vacation' from DD.

* Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum? No.  I hadn't heard of it until I found Taken In Hand, which was the first blog I came across on the subject.  My husband found it actually.
* Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples?  No.  In my view this is something any couple can introduce into their relationship whether married or not, living together or not.  However, it does of course pose some challenges for couples that don't live together.
* Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too? This lifestyle does require a deep bond and understanding between the couple and trust in each other in order to work properly.  As long as these factors are present I don't see why single or dating people shouldn't be a part of the DD community.
* In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons? While discipline is an important tool within our DD dynamic it is not the entire focus.  For us, it is about mutual respect and the way we communicate and interact with each other on a daily basis.  It improves our communication, helps me to react/respond to my husband more respectfully and not in the ways I used to before DD. It also helps resolve any conflicts and has reduced my stress levels by leaning on my husband more and by him making the ultimate decisions.
* When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was? It has taken a year or more to come to grips with this and I'm not sure I understand it fully still.  It's a constant learning curve.  We are also constantly developing and evolving in our roles.

* What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer?
They are all tools available to a couple in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
TiH List - a list made by the TiH of things she feels she needs to work on, goals she wishes to achieve.
HoH Rules - rules established by the HoH for the TiH to follow.  These are developed from the TiH list.
SitDD - a discussion between the HoH and TiH about their DD relationship, how the TiH is tracking towards her goals etc
PoD - progression of discipline - the progression of discipline from the first, second, and subsequent occurances of a misdemeanour made by the TiH.
Tolerance laDDer - measurement of the pain tolerance of the TiH to spanking.
* What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline?
I'm not really sure as we practice Domestic Discipline.  However, the impression I get is that there is little difference between the two, except that couples who practice CDD are guided by religion in their DD journey.

* (own words) What is Domestic Discipline?
Domestic Discipline is a consensual lifestyle adopted by a couple where one partner becomes the Head of the Household or HoH and the other partner submits to the authority of the HoH.  The HoH has ultimate authority and is the final decision maker.  Both parties agree to a set of household rules and the HoH may establish rules for the submissive to follow.  It is also agreed the HoH will correct the submissive for any breaking of the rules, unacceptable/undesirable behaviour by use of discipline, including spanking. 
The aim of Domestic Discipline is to enhance the relationship.  Create more intimacy and closeness and above all, to create domestic harmony, both within the household and relationship.  It is also a means for each partner to develop and grow as individuals.
Domestic Discipline is practiced differently by each couple and each couple needs to find the balance that works for them.


Jacquie (& Dave?) from Deferring to Dave
1) When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline? Almost a year ago.
2) What drew you toward finding out more about Domestic Discipline? We were already kind of experimenting with spanking but finding out all the other aspects of DD that went along with the spanking, the roles outlined for each partner made this more of a draw for us.
3) Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you? Yes.
4) Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum? 4a) If so, where else do you find information about Domestic Discipline? Anything we’ve found regarding DD has been through blogs.
5) Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples? Not necessarily, but an LTR built on trust is probably essential.
6) Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too? Yes.
7) In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons? No. In our situation, DD has been very helpful in balancing out my emotions (I struggle with depression.) Good maintenance helps to curb some knee jerk reactions I would possibly have in situations keeping the need for discipline lower.
8) When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was? Not sure.
9) What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer? Oh, I know this; it was all in the series of posts I printed out. They’ve been very helpful working through getting ourselves back on track; our first SitDD is this weekend.
10) What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline? I don’t know.
11) (own words) What IS Domestic Discipline? The working together of a couple toward the improvement of each of them as individuals and a couple by means of reward and punishment using the establishment of a hierarchy of dominance (HOH) and submission (TIH). Although I don’t feel this explains it all; it is just a nutshell explanation. I guess I’m also still learning the intricate details of ttwd, still reading and researching; and learning by the seat of my pants. lol

Respecting Mistress blog answers
1) When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline? As far as I remember it was about six years ago. It was two years into my relationship with Mistress. We had played CP games from early in our relationship – to serve my fantasies - and I discovered the term while surfing the net.
2) What drew you toward finding out more about Domestic Discipline? One of the contributing factors in the break up of my marriage was my laziness in the house. I did very little which, not surprisingly, irked my former wife. Also I paid too little attention to her. I can see that now – but it never occurred to me at the time. There were however faults on both sides that contributed to the break-up but they were two of the worst on my side. In my new relationship with Mistress I felt it important that those two faults didn’t resurface. Plus, Mistress enjoys the attention I give her and has an authoritarian streak (though it didn’t surface until we had been dating for a while). So with my past in mind, and our increasing interest is using discipline in the home to correct my faults, we decided to try a DD regime.
3) Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you? Most certainly. Most importantly, it has brought us so much closer. It has also given us real structure. And the disciplinary methods ensure we have no tension in our house.
4) Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum? Unfortunately no. I’d love to meet some other couple who have a DD lifestyle. The only contact we have is via our blog.
4a) If so, where else do you find information about Domestic Discipline? N/A
5) Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples? No. We are not married. The most important aspect of DD is that you both love each other dearly and, as such, have total trust and respect for each other.
6) Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too? Difficult question. I think, as I’ve said in response to question 5, you have to have total trust in one another. Would dating partners have developed that kind of deep bond? I’m not sure. But I don’t see any reason why single or dating people should not contribute their thoughts on DD. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
7) In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons? We have found that DD is a good way of correcting my faults and helping me maintaining my focus on Mistress’ need. Beyond that, it also helps relieve stress in us both and any tension in our relationship. It also ensures there are no lasting arguments or conflicts.
8) When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was? Quite early in our DD journey. The problem is always that ‘real life’ impinges on our DD lifestyle – outside influences make it sometimes difficult to follow the DD lifestyle 24/7. We’ve both discussed this deeply and both of acknowledge our lives would be very different is, say we were able to retire and focus on just us. Mistress has said she would be much stricter with the house rules. I know I would be much more malleable to her requirements.
9) What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer? When we first started we tried to work to a set of rules (TiH List and HoH Rules) and updated them as we developed. We looked at others and adapted them out our needs. Now we have no written rules but we both are in tune with how we want our DD regime to work. We discuss my faults before our weekly maintenance punishment session and we often chat about how things are progressing and what tweaks might be needed (SitDD). I’m not familiar with the terms PoD or Tolerance LaDDer.
10) What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline? I don’t know. We follow a regime of Domestic Discipline.
11) (own words) What IS Domestic Discipline? Domestic Discipline offers a consensual and respectful way of maintaining a balance in a loving relationship. Consensual is the watchword here – both parties have to really want to live this lifestyle because it is quite demanding. But those demands reap huge rewards.  DD means that one partner is the Head of the Household while the other is the submissive and both parties agree to a set of rules to live by and it is agreed that the HoH will correct any of the submissive’s faults by the use of corporal punishment. And it is also agreed that the HoH. The important factor is any DD relationship is that all matters are dealt with in a consistent manner under the terms of an agreement both parties have signed up to at the outset. 

Kim from Kims Kinky Korner emailed: (not yet posted)
1) When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline?   2008
2) What drew you toward finding out more about Domestic Discipline? marriage problems
3) Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you? No a need like air.
4) Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do
with a blog/forum? 4a) If so, where else do you find information about
Domestic Discipline? No
5) Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples? i believe commitment is the key not the license.
6) Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too? Yes i believe they are, they (hopefully) know what their individual needs are.
7) In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons? No definitely not, de-stressing,life adjustments,sexual response,laying down new rules. i find DD in almost every aspect of daily life.
8) When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was?  Being a natural, no i don't know.
9) What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer? i do not know sorry.
10) What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline? The sex? I am only guessing, i don't know enough about CDD.
11) (own words) What IS Domestic Discipline? A way to keep the female in your life from  tearing down the walls of your life and being present in your own world to foresee this behavior and rectify it. thank you, kim b.


15 comments :

  1. sixofthebest11/21/2012

    I have visited Ireland, amongst 150 other different countries I have been to. And kissed the 'The Blarney Stone'. I certainly agree with you about the importance of Freedom of Speech, and Press.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi sixofthebest, I've been lucky enough to visit Ireland about a dozen times but usually spent most of the time visiting relatives so I never kissed the Blarney Stone. Although I was blessed with the gift of gab anyway lol

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  2. Thanks, my friend and I will answer your questions on my blog :)
    hugs and Happy Thanksgiving
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lillie! I wasn't sure if many people would take on the DD Qs. I'm so happy you're going to be answering the DD Questions! Let me know when you post them so I can add a link to your Blog here under the "Eleven DD Questions Answered" picture.

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  3. Brilliant! I'm posting the answer on my blog too!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you RM, I'll make sure to post your link here.

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  4. Great answers and questions. I am fine that you didn't answer my questions, just glad that you participated

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    Replies
    1. You all had wonderful questions, I went with Lillie because it was the first in my inbox. And good luck with your brand new paddle store my friend! :)

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  5. Great answers and questions Mr BB. I will have a go at answering them on my blog too.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Thank you kindly Roz, and I hope all of your holidays are happy too!
      I can't wait to read your 11 DD answers on your blog!

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    2. Roz from "Roz in His Hands" just answered the 11 DD Questions. Answers & Link are above! Excellent answers Roz :)

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  6. Anonymous11/22/2012

    So what's your IQ?

    Kiki

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    Replies
    1. High enough to know it's best not to answer that! LOL

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  7. I'm answering your DD questions on my blog. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jacquie. Well done! Your answers are listed above and the link for those who would like to visit Jacquies blog is "Deferring to Dave"

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