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What is Christian Domestic Discipline? A CDD Description

Christian Domestic Discipline CDD.  This article comes from the Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) area of the DD lifestyle community. A Domestic Discipline Society has researched and presented some well known Domestic Discipline community articles. We feel it's important to share a 360 degree view of the Domestic Discipline lifestyle choice.

I have a lot of respect for those who follow the ideas of Christian Domestic Discipline. Personally I don't combine my views and practices of DD with my ideals and spiritual or religious edicts. For me they are separate. I have many close friends who lead their DD lifestyle in every variation imaginable, some of whom identify themselves a part of the CDD version of Domestic Discipline. Some feel because they lead Christian lives and also include DD into their lifestyle that they identify as CDD. Others feel they are CDD because DD to them is a biblical based and directed lifestyle choice. As the general DD community understands, each is correct within their own home.
For those of us who have been a part of the Domestic Discipline community for a very long time, we remember the old Yahoo style groups & bulletin-boards  from the 1990s. Most of those original discussion groups were based on each owners version of a CDD lifestyle marriage. They were based on a male led biblically based household and only considered others who agreed with them and were married as a part of their group. Over the years, Domestic Discipline ideas have become open to the individual single, dating and married person choosing their own path and how they identify.  But, there is no denying that the acronym of DD  became first known through some of the old CDD discussion groups. That's not to say that there wasn't this style of relationship before then, but it had been called many different and regional names. When personal home computers were becoming part of homes all over the world in the mid 1990s, regional terminologies were slowly blending and changing into what we all know today as more worldwide terminologies, descriptions and acronyms.
When researching this article it was necessary to look for the earliest descriptions and most shared definitions of a distinctly CDD lifestyle choice. In no way is this the only CDD description available online, but this one seems to be one that has been around a long time and is shared in many places. I suspect that the description below came from somewhere much older, but this description from the CDD site is the earliest version found intact that has later been shared, changed and repeatedly used. It seems like the site isn't updated any longer and the links are outdated and broken.  But the description of CDD is the most copied I found online.

So in ADDS style, here it is with no changes of any kind including spelling errors etc...
This is how it appears on the Christian Domestic Discipline .com site.

What is CDD?

A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no "One Ring of Power" in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to "true DD enlightenment". What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.
A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.
Therefore, in a CDD marriage:
  • The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24.
  • The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her. See Eph. 5:25-29.
  • The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God's commands. See Titus 2:5, Acts 5:29.
He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife's counsel. Prov. 20:5
He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.
He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.
He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.
He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the "Four D's" (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices... reckless driving, disobeying doctor's orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking.
CDD is not a "magic pill", and this website does not claim CDD will prevent all marital rows. It is simply a tool, one method which many couples round the world feel is quite effective in strengthening their marriages, and improving the quality of their relationship.
CDD is the husband loving his wife enough to patiently guide and unselfishly cherish her.
CDD is the wife loving her husband enough to follow his leadership and trust his direction.
A Christian marriage should embody selfless love and true romance.
A Christian couple is to be a reflection of Jesus and His Bride.
How clear is your reflection?
This style of traditional male-led Christian marriage may seem unusual in today's "modern", liberal, politically correct, anti-God culture. This unholy culture, with its radically selfish feminism, and wholesale bias against true manhood, launches relentless attacks against traditional Christian family values. (Keep in mind, this is also the culture with well over 50% divorce rates, both in the church and in the secular world. Most rational people would agree the "modern" way doesn't work so well!)
Romans 12:2 says, And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God. Here, Paul warns us not to live like the world, not to be fashioned like them, or molded to the same pattern as they are, but to be changed. Strong's Concordance says, "literally or figuratively "metamorphose".
The traditional male-led Christian marriage has been practised throughout history and is still practised in many parts of the world today. Our American friends, for example, need only look back to the era just prior to the 1960's. Domestic Discipline was a widely accepted premise, oft seen in films at the cinema and programmes on the telly. Many companies showed it in advertisments. If you prefer not to utilise "modern, popular culture" as a guide, consider that DD also has quite a long history as a common literary theme, dating back hundreds of years, from several cultures worldwide.

What Tenets do we Accept?

1, The Bible:
God's perfect, complete, and inerrant Word. We will honor it as literal and valid for all time.
2, Eternity:
There is only one way to Heaven, and only one name by which mankind can be saved. That name is Jesus Christ. The Holy Son of God, Jesus lived a sinless life, died a sacrificial death, was raised as the Living Saviour, and now sits at the right hand of God the Father. One day, every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, according toRomans 14:11 and Phil. 2:11.
3, Marital Roles:
The wife is to submit to her husband, and the husband is to love his wife. See Eph 5:22-28.
4, Parties Involved:
CDD is practised between a man and a woman. In most cases, it is practised between a husband and a wife.
5, Discipline:
In CDD, the husband has authority to discipline the wife. The wife does not have authority to discipline her husband. See Gen. 3:16

What Topics do we not Discuss?

1, Non-Consensual CDD:
We do not condone truly nonconsensual CDD. See this article regarding "Non-Consensual Consent" for more information.
2, Spanking of Children:
We shall leave this to other blokes to argue over elsewhere. It shall not be discussed here in any depth.
3, Eroticism:
Whilst we recognise by its very nature this can be an erotic subject, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God's plan. After all, He created eroticism and sexuality to be enjoyed within the healthy, safe, and exclusive boundaries of marriage.
4, Things What God Defines as Evil:
Though some in today's culture may call CDD an "alternate lifestyle", the Bible gives no clear command either way. Marital discipline is neither commanded nor condemned in Scripture. However, God's word clearly defines some other "alternate lifestyles", such as homosexuality, as evil. If you don't like it, there are plenty of other sites. We will not accept posts glorifying such lifestyles. We are here to glorify God, not to be politically correct or lauded by the masses.
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Matt. 7:13, 14
5, Other Topics:
We do not discuss homosexual relationships, Female Dominant/male submissive relationships, or BDSM. This is not a dating service, nor do we list personal advertisments. We are not interested in your bratting escapades. If that is what you seek, you will find many places on the internet to fulfill your desires

As you can see there are some very defined rules in this CDD description, but as in all areas of DD not everyone who identifies as CDD follows this description exactly. "DD" has over the years become a larger area and kind of an umbrella term for the entire Domestic Discipline community where those who identify as CDD are one of many variations. 
One of the reasons A Domestic Discipline Society discussion groups were started many years ago, was to bring the entire Domestic Discipline community together in one place to present and discuss all areas of  Domestic Discipline in an open and non-judgmental format.

Other Well known DD articles and definition.

Domestic Discipline (DD) description - Defining Domestic Discipline / Domestic Discipline Definition

What is Domestic Discipline?

Original Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Article 


  1. I think this will help some folks...there's bunches of very different perspectives within the CDD community and I have a number of friends from there. It is okay that we don't agree on everything, in the same way that the bigger Dd community doesn't agree on everything.

    1. Hi Susie, Very true :) That's one of the beauties of any DD variation, it is tailored to the individual or couple.

  2. Anonymous1/25/2013

    I agree with Susie, It's ok that we don't all do things exactly the same way, or have the same belief behind it. Everyone's story is their own and not exactly the same, nor right or wrong.

    1. Hi Emi, Spot on. There is no right or wrong dictated from outside what the couple consensually agrees upon.

  3. The CDD web page is a good place for Christians to find DD advice. I don't mind going to fetlife but I know many people would be shocked by what they see there. I don't remember how I found the CDD page but it was my first introduction to the Domestic discipline life style.

    One size fits all, never seems to fit anyone just right. In a relationship, you have to be flexible.

    1. True Rose, Through the years people in the DD community have become more tolerant to the differences of each other, realized there are many common denominators and have become more open to learning from each other even if they don't live their DD dynamic exactly the same way :)

  4. Anonymous1/26/2013

    I have to post anonymously. I am a Christian and I did find the CDD site first. I signed up for the forum, but I just don't belong there. It's so uptight and I felt judged. I was misunderstood in what I was saying more than once. I think that's the problem a lot of people have with specific churches (differs in areas), Christians aren't supposed to judge others, but often that's exactly what happens.

    There are so many genuinely nice people there, there is a lot of great information. A handful make it too stuffy for me. I don't know. Just made me reevaluate things.

    Great post though. It is good to see all aspects. Ttwd is not one size fits all.

    1. You're so right, DD isn't one size fits all.
      Sorry you went through the difficulty of feeling judged while just simply looking for information. You will never be judged here, we are an open minded collection of people from all over the world who seek out commonalities not differences :)
      Glad you found us.

  5. This is a great post, and it was one of the first sites I visited when researching a DD relationship. I shared it w/JJ, and we have found our own way into this lifestye that I believe describes us more as Christians who practice DD. There is not one size fits all in this lifestyle, and I think that's the beauty of it all, each couple owns their own dynamic.

    I agree w/what Anonymous said....I thinkt the group gets uptight far too often! Sheesh! I couldn't handle all the bickering going on there....

    1. HI Kady!
      I like the statement "each couple owns their own dynamic"
      There are so many wonderful people who follow a style of DD. Sometimes a particular site/discussion group can get off-track for any number of reasons like ego, righteousness or money etc...
      Because the people, readership and members "own" ADDS, we've been able to avert all of that so far and I believe our welcoming nature will help keep it that way.
      I know many people who follow a CDD style of DD that are wonderful and open minded, and I also know some who have a much more narrow view.


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