Domestic Discipline Marriage: Beginning A Domestic Discipline Marriage

Domestic Discipline  Marriage: You have "Come Out" or someone has Come Out to you... What's next?
How you start your Domestic Discipline Marriage or Relationship is vital to the later success of your DD lifestyle choice. Where you are in your life and relationship status is an important determining factor in deciding the best way to move forward. We'll look at this in two parts. HoH & TiHs after a TiH has "Come Out" about their DD desires. If an experienced HoH reveals their DD relationship needs then there is usually a built in leader and guide within the relationship. When a TiH comes out to a perspective HoH, there can be difficulties asking someone to take on a more open leadership perspective and the new HoH is the one who has less information in the beginning.

Beginning A Domestic Discipline Marriage

IT's HERE! > Domestic Discipline: Beginning A Domestic Discipline Marriage

Domestic Discipline Friendly Sites, Spanking Blogs, Links & ADDS first friendly site Recommendations

A Domestic Discipline Society would like to recognize and recommend some of the blogs & sites who are both DD Friendly and who have been sharing and supportive of the DD community and A Domestic Discipline Society. Here they are...

Domestic Discipline Blogs: All Sharing Domestic Discipline Blogs & Favorite DD Blog Vote Winners

A Domestic Discipline Society had a community wide vote to find which Domestic Discipline Blog the ADDS readers preferred as a favorite. I was absolutely amazed at the support and outpouring of votes and ideas that came rolling in!          THE WINNER IS...

Defining Domestic Discipline / Domestic Discipline Lifestyle Definition

Defining set idioms, fundamentals and practices of DD as a lifestyle choice is never an easy endeavor. Domestic Discipline is one of the more widely misunderstood relationship dynamics within the alternative lifestyle community. Mainly, because if it's not the lifestyle choice one leads, then they naturally don't study it and search deeply into varying interpretations. And there are many variations and denotations of Domestic Discipline.

Coming Out about Spanking and Revealing Domestic Discipline Desires

There are different reasons why people feel the need to tell someone about their urge for spanking or the desire for a Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Personally, I haven't had to "come out" with my DD lifestyle or explain my spanking side to anyone recently. People I feel I would like to tell, I've told. Anyone who needs to know... knows. Everyone who it wouldn't matter if I told, or make sense to tell... doesn't know.

What is Domestic Discipline? ~ A Domestic Discipline Society

What is Domestic Discipline? That could depend on who is answering the question. One of the beautiful aspects of a Domestic Discipline Lifestyle, is that it is open to interpretation. What works best for one person or a couple, does not necessarily work for everyone. There are many "This is DD" articles posted out there. If you read within those articles that DD is ONLY for a specific group or excludes others that don't agree with their interpretation, then you're probably reading about just one variation of Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle.

Domestic Discipline Honesty

Honesty is one of the "Keys" that unlocks a door to your successful Domestic Discipline relationship dynamic. As it was mentioned in the Domestic Discipline Confession article published within the ADDS series Keys to a Domestic Discipline Relationship, being honest and confessing or "coming clean" are vital to a successful DD dynamic.

Liebster Award with a Domestic Discipline twist?

UPDATE: 11 DD Questions Answered.  A lot of friends have been emailing & asking ADDS to participate in the Liebster Award. This site is part of the ADDS discussion groups and sites that are specifically about Domestic Discipline resources, education and knowledge sharing.  I didn't know if I should participate. I'm known as an honest person who tells the unfiltered truth. So to be completely honest, I also really didn't feel 100% comfortable asking 11 friends to then have to ask 11 of their friends etc...  Then I read Bonnie's MBS blog and decided she had the right idea!

NYT Article & Jillian Keenan FOLLOW UP & Interview

What is happening NOW? Follow Up with Jillian Keenan, author of the NYT article I shared last week.
The author, Jillian Keenan, obviously hit an harmonious chord among millions of people who share a spanking related lifestyle or kink, and are struggling to explore or share with their loved ones.

Domestic Discipline and a NEW YORK TIMES Article

Finding the Courage to Reveal a Fetish

A Domestic Discipline Society is happy to have been the first to share this with our blogland friends! Thanks to one of our ADDS discussion group members for bringing this to our attention so quickly.

There are so many people who are, or have been, struggling with the dilemma of sharing their feelings on the subject of how to tell their loved one.

You're Over the EDGE please Don't Waste Everyone's Time :)

“THE EDGE,  there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”
 ― Hunter S. Thompson

Love Our Lurkers and Thank You!

Like so may others who decide to write a blog, we start by reading the blogs that interest us most. In my case it started a long time ago when I was looking for information to help people who I was teaching about DD and members of the ADDS discussion groups who were asking where they could find more good DD information. In 1995 it became possible for...

ALL Domestic Discipline Blogs

There are many wonderful DD lifestyle based blogs popping up all over blogland! Some openly share their personal lives, tribulations and growth with all of their readers. Others are based on DD information. And there are a lot more good authors and DD Friendly sites and blogs then there has ever been in the past! All of these are part of the growing world of information available on the subject of DD as a lifestyle choice. There is a lot to learn from them all. There are more distinctly DD blogs listed here on the ADDS site then anywhere else on the web. I hope when you have time, you'll check them out and let us know which ones are your favorites and which new blogs you recommend to be included on the ADDS list of links to All DD Blogs & DD Friendly Blogs & sites.

Domestic Discipline: Communication is a Key to DD

Domestic Discipline Communication Article
A Domestic Discipline style of lifestyle takes time to cultivate. Too often one partner pushes the other to "GET IT" before they're ready. This can leave one partner looking like a deer in the headlights and their partner is a Mack truck filled with information and ideas ready to plow them over! Not always, but more often then not, the potential submissive TiH partner reveals this consensual lifestyle to their potential HoH partner after reading and learning and reading and reading and reading... (you get the picture) and reading about Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle. It usually takes the TiH awhile to gain the courage to share this realization, and then right after the submissive partner finally divulges their need for leadership in the relationship... they take over!

A Domestic Discipline Society blog REVIEW

A wink style Blog review of the A Domestic Discipline Society (ADDS) blog was recently posted on American Spanking Society by Todd & Suzy. ADDS has been mentioned before for the discussion groups in different areas, but this is the first Review of the A Domestic Discipline Society (ADDS) blog! I thought I would share it with the ADDS readers and say Thanks to Todd & Suzy :)

DD Boot Camp: Revealed

Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Instructions FREE & Questions Answered.
Mr BB Spanker says thanks for over 80,000 views of this one Domestic Discipline DD Boot Camp REVEALED article. Thanks for choosing ADDS as your trusted DD info, news, research & resource Home Page!
Through the years, many of the people who know what A Domestic Discipline Society is all about, know we really like to investigate and discuss all aspects concerning the DD community then present the information in an free, open, nonjudgmental ADDS format. I continue to receive emails from the community about the concept of DD Boot Camp and where it originated. Who came up with the original concept and where and when did it start to become more popularized in the DD community? Should it be used? If used, should it be something applied in the beginning of a DD relationship? Is it better suited for couples who have a more knowledgeable understanding, like after the initial year they have both been working together on their DD lifestyle relationship?
UPDATED: Read All Updates & Comments below the article & do some research.

Bonnie Appreciation Day / My Bottom Smarts

ALL DETAILS HERE 
Tuesday 10-23-12 declared "Bonnie Appreciation Day" for Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts!  If you have been away from blogland it's ok to still show your appreciation with a Thank You Bonnie post on your blog. Is it really ever too late to show your appreciation?! Continue for information about how this idea got rolling, URL to the pic made for the occasion and links!

Head of Household (HoH) Appreciation

I was reading through some Domestic Discipline blogs I share links with, when I happened upon this one from a fellow DD blogger. I was delighted to see that a newer TiH style submissive was not only going out of their way to appreciate their HoH, but also making a concerted effort to understand everything their HoH does for them.

Characteristics of a Head of Household (HoH)

Secrets of an Experienced HoH 

      A Head of Household exercises leadership and guidance in many subtle ways with positive influence and thoughtfulness rather than threats or overt and unfair physical punishments. HoHs genuinely care about the people in their life. They can be authoritative leaders, yet have the utmost respect and care for others...

HoH Leadership: No Consequences for the HOH Question is Answered

A common question that  some people have about Domestic Discipline is, why doesn't the HOH suffer any kind of consequences for their own mistakes?  It might seem unfair to newer submissives learning how to  become Taken in Hand. This seems like an odd dichotomy though since usually a TiH style submissive is instinctively attracted to the Domestic Discipline lifestyle and feel deeply that their role in this lifestyle is what they have always needed.

Domestic Discipline Forgiveness

Within love there is forgiveness...  without forgiveness, love does not exist in a meaningful long term DD lifestyle relationship.

Domestic Discipline Confession

Domestic Discipline style Confessing

Confessing a misdeed is one area many TiHs find very difficult. 
Especially for a newer Taken in Hand  style submissive... 

A true DD relationship includes the TiH being completely honest in the agreed upon Power Exchange... even when the HOH is not around. And that is where Confessing plays a key role in a successful Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

Domestic Discipline Aftercare

Aftercare is one of the "keys" that lead to or define a Domestic Discipline lifestyle relationship. 

Domestic Discipline Reminder Spanking

A Preemptive Measure

Reminder Spanking -  are a preemptive, warning style of spanking... administered beforehand

Domestic Discipline Maintenance Spanking

A Proactive Spanking Measure

Maintenance Spanking - is used as a time based continuing tool within a process to maintain focus, revisit and/or re-establish effect & relationship goals.... administered during or as part of the process. 

Becoming Taken in Hand (Part 2)

Relinquishing Control

 Becoming Taken in Hand Pt. 2 

On one of the A Domestic Discipline Society discussion groups, this thread was started and has become one of the more popular threads on that ADDS group. I have slightly changed the names, but the content of each post is just as written. I did move some of the posts so this Article could be presented conversationally in two parts for continuity. This is part two.

Becoming Taken In Hand

 Transferring Control 

Becoming Taken In Hand Pt. 1

One of the questions I am often asked is, "How do I get my partner to understand that I NEED this lifestyle?" There are challenges for the submissive partner to then overcome. One of those challenges can be that the TiH partner has fallen into a role that they don't want, but find hard to transition from.

     

A Letter for you, from MrBBSpanker

So far, this site is filled with information that has been developed over many years of living the DD lifestyle choice (even before it was called DD) and the honor of  Mentoring and Teaching others who live this lifestyle dynamic. I understood when finally "officially" launching this site that there were a lot of things to learn and the blog format might pose some challenges. Those challenges would include... >>>>>

Domestic Discipline Calendar

  The DD Calendar

This is the 7th article in this series that begins with >>>
>>>   "Where to Start: Beginning your DD Lifestyle Together"

DD Calendar: An ADDS Communication Tool

In the beginning of your DD lifestyle dynamic, or when starting to revitalize it with these ADDS tools and ideas, it's best to start slowly and work on one to two goals or behavioral changes at a time. In day to day life as your DD lifestyle grows there are going to be ...

HoH: Head of Household Rules

•            HoH Rules ...

     ... Need to be Be Clear and defined!

A guide to develop the HoH Rules List.
The list referred to as the HoH Rules is slowly and patiently developed from the TiH List.
Continuing with the series that begins with " Where to Start " 

Thank you to the blogs, My Bottom Smarts and The Cherry Red Report!

I'll be posting a new article in the August "Where to Start"   series tomorrow!

Defining The TiH List and The Domestic Discipline Diary

Where the TiH List and DDiary come Together

 Continuing the series of articles that begins with Where to Start: Beginning Your DD Lifestyle Together

In the first article in this series for August, I touched on a general overview of the TiH List, HoH Rules and mentioned The DDiary. All of which can be important tools for your DD relationship communication and during your weekly Sit Down Discussions. That first article is meant for those beginning, revitalizing or adding tools to their DD lifestyle. 
In this installment in the series I'll be covering the TiH List more in depth, and introducing uses of The DDiary. >>>>>

Touching Base / Thank you :)

 Touching Base

In the first four articles, (Where to Start, The Sit Down Discussion, Progression of Discipline and The Tolerance LaDDer), some ADDS style DD lifestyle tools have been brought to light for the first time in the blogosphere.

The Tolerance LaDDer

ADDS 30 points of Reference

A Pain Tolerance Communication Tool

The Tolerance LaDDer and the Progression of Discipline (PoD) go hand in hand. The Tolerance LaDDer is a pain tolerance communication tool... >>>>>

Progression of Discipline

Moving From Discussion to Spanking
     

Disciplinary Actions                                                         
I think it's important to interject at this time what the Progression of Discipline is like in a DD lifestyle relationship. The information in this post is meant for discussion between new and existing HoHs and TiHs. I noticed while rereading this that I am writing mainly to the HoHs. >>>>>

The Sit Down Discussion

 Opening Communication

  First Sit Down Discussions

Set aside time at least once or twice a week to fully communicate with one another about everything pertaining to your DD lifestyle. Begin a ritual of ... >>>

Where to Start: Beginning your Domestic Discipline Relationship

Beginning or Revitalizing your DD Lifestyle Together


TiH List/HoH Rules
Becoming interested in DD might be easier for some people. The desire for DD in a relationship can be a natural and healthy inclination for those who feel the strength and need toward their natural submissive or Dominant nature. There is a desire for love, security, and connection with...